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Innerfire89

Dealing with a chronic complainer.

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Dose anyone have experience with chronic complaners, or just some advice on dealing with them?

Someone close to me, who I'm around constantly is what I would call a chronic complainer. They complain about everyhing​, but more than that they are so nasty about it, the slightest thing doesn'​t go their way and they hate the whole world because it. I wish I could say this doesn'​t effect me, but after while I get fed up with it and I end up being the nasty one. I wake up every morning to these livid overreactions, I don't know if this person is bipolar or they are just full of all sorts of resentment, anger, and hate and it just comes out via complaints. But it's driving me nuts, any advice, encouagment, or prayers are much apperritatated.

 

 

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Just ask them if they think all the complaining will make any difference. If you get a no, then ask them why they do it. If you get a yes, ask them how?

 

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Just ask them if they think all the complaining will make any difference. If you get a no, then ask them why they do it. If you get a yes, ask them how?

 

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There a saying I heard once , it goes,"complaining is like a rocking chair, you work all day but get nowhere" or something like that. Maybe it was "worry is like a rocking chair".

 

But that's a good point, most complaints are just for the sake of venting or the person just wants others to know they're dissatisfied, rarely are complaints done with the purpose of finding a solution or making improvements. I'm pretty sure for the person I'm talking about, thier just venting. It's not those little things that are really bothering them, it's that they're angry and resentful and complaining about nothing is just what they do.

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I hate that this person is as miserable, bitter, angry, and just plain nasty as they are, and I worry for them spiritually as well. The complaining is just a symtom of the problem.

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Some questions to ask yourself:

1. Is the complainer sick: includes physical and emotional? If yes, ask God to give you extra patience with them and repeat that prayer every time you see them.

2. Is the complainer a Christian?

If no, then pray for their salvation. If yes, ask God to give you wisdom on how to make them realise that their words are not pleasing to God, they are a poor witness to other people and so on.

 

Sometimes God puts people in our lives to challenge us for our own spiritual growth.

 

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I hate that this person is as miserable, bitter, angry, and just plain nasty as they are, and I worry for them spiritually as well. The complaining is just a symtom of the problem.

I get what you mean especially if the person is Christian. It's not like anything that ails you during this life would ever hurt a spiritual hair on your head.

 

If a Christian were doing all that complaining, they need help. They need to focus on the joy of eternity.

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Dose anyone have experience with chronic complaners, or just some advice on dealing with them?

Someone close to me, who I'm around constantly is what I would call a chronic complainer. They complain about everyhing​, but more than that they are so nasty about it, the slightest thing doesn'​t go their way and they hate the whole world because it. I wish I could say this doesn'​t effect me, but after while I get fed up with it and I end up being the nasty one. I wake up every morning to these livid overreactions, I don't know if this person is bipolar or they are just full of all sorts of resentment, anger, and hate and it just comes out via complaints. But it's driving me nuts, any advice, encouagment, or prayers are much apperritatated.

 

 

Do they claim to be a Christian?

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Do they claim to be a Christian?

 

Yes, they claim to be Christian, I pray it's true.

 

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Yes, they claim to be Christian, I pray it's true.

 

Well, then I would suggest that there is a person who needs more about Christian contentment, and the goodness of God in bringing adversity into our lives. When dealing with a Christian though the Word of God is always the place to start and I would suggest Bible Studies on Philippians might be of help.

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@Innerfire89

 

i have lots of experience with complainers - and i used to be one myself - i lost friends over it - i guess they just couldn't endure my complaining

 

trying to think back to how i changed? - i think i decided to change when i met others who were worse complainers than i was - i hated their complaining and realized that i also was a complainer - that motivated me to figure out what was going on with me and why was i such a complainer

 

God helped me change - because i honestly couldn't change myself - i saw my sin but kept failing at stopping my sin - it took me and God a year or 2 to work through to victory - and i still need to watch myself to make sure i don't fall into complaining - which comes from a negative pov - seeing the glass half empty rather than half full

 

what to do around a complainer you can't get away from?

 

1. if i am forced to be in their presence i tune them out and think my own thoughts - or pray silently for them or for all the things i know need prayer

 

2. if their complaining gets intolerable i go to the bathroom or somewhere to get a break from them for as long as possible - i do a lot of praying in the bathroom

 

3. in some cases where i can i wore earplugs to block the sound - or earbuds for my player and listened to something good

 

4. i tried talking to complainers about their complaining and if i did a bad job of it they got worse - if i did a good diplomatic job of it they sometimes admitted they were complaining and asked me to help them stop

 

5. one funny thing about some complainers is if you start complaining they will talk to you about YOUR complaining - which tells me they honestly don't think they are complaining - i don't know what they think they are doing - people are really funny

 

6. another tactic to deal with complainers that don't want to stop complaining is to try to see how humorous it is - complainers can be a source of entertainment if you see how crazy some of their complaints are - i know some complainers like that - they are so passionately negative about crazy minute things - i have to watch myself so they don't catch me laughing or smiling - because then they really get going - and then i really can't hide my laughter or smiles

 

praying for you my dear friend to find a solution that matches your specific situation - and that God protects your heart and mind from the awful onslaught to your peace that continuous complainers can be - may God protect your ears - which actually reminds me of another solution -

 

7. i have had God do a miracle and cause me to have the ability to not hear the complainer - almost like God supernaturally turned the volume down so that my ears couldn't hear the complainer - i heard their voice but could not hear what they were saying - it was a miracle -

 

praying for you - i feel for you - and i know God will help you somehow because God really loves you and if you seek Him and we pray for you something good will come out of this - and you will have an awesome testimony to share with us about how God came through for you to protect you from this oppressive issue

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Posted (edited)

One possibility is if you could get this person to spend some volunteer time with one or more folks who have real challenges. Terminally ill for instance. Or severely handicapped. Not doing so in a cheesy look at them wsy but actually volunteering to help.

 

You could also show them this video. This man, Johnny Hudson, spoke at my church about two months ago. He is a good example of a non-complainer.

 

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=johnny+hudson+evangelist&view=detail&mid=17CA6D4A976A2BA0EAA217CA6D4A976A2BA0EAA2&FORM=VRRTAP

Edited by Bull of the Woods
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Any one who has ever been on staff of a forum deals with chronic complainers .:RpS_lol: 

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1 hour ago, Becky said:

Any one who has ever been on staff of a forum deals with chronic complainers .:RpS_lol: 

If only they could be banned in real life.  lol.

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