Jump to content

The Protestant Community

Are you Protestant? Or, are you sincerely inquiring about the Protestant faith? Welcome to Christforums the Christian Protestant community. You'll need to register in order to post your comments on your favorite topics and subjects. Register in less than a minute, it is simple, fast, and free! We hope you enjoy your fellowship here! God bless, Christforums' Staff
Register now

Christforums

Christforums is a Protestant Christian forum, open to Bible- believing Christians such as Presbyterians, Lutherans, Reformed, Baptists, Church of Christ members, Pentecostals, Anglicans. Methodists, Charismatics, or any other conservative, Nicene- derived Christian Church. We do not solicit cultists of any kind, including Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Eastern Lightning, Falun Gong, Unification Church, Aum Shinrikyo, Christian Scientists or any other non- Nicene, non- Biblical heresy.
Register now

Christforums is:

.... an orthodox Protestant forum whose members espouse the Apostolic doctrines in the Biblical theologies set forth by Augustine, Martin Luther, Ulrich Zwingli, John Calvin and John Knox etc. We do not "argue" with nor do we solicit the membership of people who espouse secular or cultic ideologies. We believe that our conversations are to be faith building and posts that advance heretical or apostate thinking will be immediately deleted and the poster permanently banned from the forum. This is a Christian community for people to explore the traditional theologies of Classical Protestantism. Those who would challenge the peace and harmony that we enjoy here as fellow believers are directed to another forum.

Enjoy your fellowship

In order to understand the importance of Christian fellowship, we must first understand what Christian fellowship is and what it isn’t. The Greek words translated “fellowship” in the New Testament mean essentially a partnership to the mutual benefit of those involved. Christian fellowship, then, is the mutually beneficial relationship between Christians, who can’t have the identical relationship with those outside the faith. Those who believe the gospel are united in the Spirit through Christ to the Father, and that unity is the basis of fellowship. This relationship is described by Jesus in His high-priestly prayer for His followers in John 17:23. The importance of true Christian fellowship is that it reinforces Christ centeredness in our mind and helps us to focus on Christ and His desires and goals for us. As iron sharpens iron, in true Christian fellowship Christians sharpen one another's faith and stir one another to exercise that faith in love and good works, all to God’s glory.
txmom2three

Was remarriage a mistake?

Recommended Posts

I’ve been married to my 3rd husband for 6 years. I’m learning more and more about my personality and why I choose the men I choose and the dysfunction of my relationships. My current husband is better than the first. But I still feel I married him when I wasn’t emotionally healthy. But I am wondering if it’s biblical for me to remain married or not since it was a sin for me to get remarried in the first place?

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi txmom2three, first off, WELCOME TO CF :RpS_smile:

 

As far as your question goes, divorce and remarriage are most often sinful choices, but once you are remarried, being/remaining married isn't. However, if you get divorced again (for a reason that is not permissible according to the Bible), then you will sin again when you do so.

 

Yours and His,

David

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always have had the view that people rush into relationships.. Mainly due to them having a feeling of having something missing, a void that they feel needs filling.. But it's not always healthy,

my mother is into her third marriage now, I can't answer you're question as I've not read the whole of the old testament yet, but I hold a view that you should only get married once in you're lifetime.. Even though I know that's not biblical, as if a partner dies you are allowed to re-marry but I personally hold a view that I wouldn't ever do that.. As a never married single male I can not predict my future, however I see a marriage vow as a life long pact to one partner.. I see it as if a partner dies and you re-marry you are sharing you're life with 2 people or more if you marry anymore times.. I personally believe you should have one soul mate, not multiple people even if it's biblical.. I do hold strong controversial beliefs though so it's probably not what you wanted to hear.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for responding. I was reading your post about your mom. I’ve never cheated, but my first husband physically abused me and my kids and now is facing jail time for indecent behavior with our daughters. I’m having a lot of trust issues now towards any men, since these new allegations against my ex. I wish I could have stayed single and not remarried but I thought to myself would it be worse for my kids for me to be single than to have a step father? But yeah, I’m questioning my decision making. And now that my ex has been charged, my kids really only have me. I don’t feel that anyone else would truly look out for the best interest of them. But my husband does help out with things however he doesn’t make much money and can’t even support himself financially so I wonder if I’d just be better off on my own. I make enough to support my kids without child support. My husband also has some other irresponsibility behaviors and he seems to look out for his own best interest before that of me or my kids. But it’s sometimes scary to think that if I weren’t with him, I’d have no one. My mom is deceased and I’m practically caregiver for my dad because he’s mentally ill.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I always have had the view that people rush into relationships.. Mainly due to them having a feeling of having something missing, a void that they feel needs filling.. But it's not always healthy,

my mother is into her third marriage now, I can't answer you're question as I've not read the whole of the old testament yet, but I hold a view that you should only get married once in you're lifetime.. Even though I know that's not biblical, as if a partner dies you are allowed to re-marry but I personally hold a view that I wouldn't ever do that.. As a never married single male I can not predict my future, however I see a marriage vow as a life long pact to one partner.. I see it as if a partner dies and you re-marry you are sharing you're life with 2 people or more if you marry anymore times.. I personally believe you should have one soul mate, not multiple people even if it's biblical.. I do hold strong controversial beliefs though so it's probably not what you wanted to hear.

Lots of people Do rush into marriage. God created us as sociable people -- He created everyone with a sex drive and restrictions on how/ when to use it. It is for within marriage between one man and one woman. And a lot of people have a lot of good 'chemistry' between them which draws them to want to spend the rest of their lives together. A person doesn't have to read the entire Old Testament for information about Christian marriage. We are bound to our marriage partner, not until death are they to part. God Does allow for divorce under certain circumstances. But it's always better to work through problems if that can be done. My Mother outlived both my father and then her second husband to cancer. She was with both men Until they Died. When I was growing up there was a woman missionary who had out-lived three husbands while on the mission field. Once a mate dies -- you're no longer sharing life with them. There are people who believe exactly as you do -- they had a soul-mate that after that there would be no more husband or wife for them. So -- you're saying that '"even if something Is Biblical, you don't especially feel inclined to follow that 'thing'. Well -- that is your personal decision. Everyone is entitled to their personal beliefs. Just don't be surprised when you get other's with differing comments.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks for responding. I was reading your post about your mom. I’ve never cheated, but my first husband physically abused me and my kids and now is facing jail time for indecent behavior with our daughters. I’m having a lot of trust issues now towards any men, since these new allegations against my ex. I wish I could have stayed single and not remarried but I thought to myself would it be worse for my kids for me to be single than to have a step father? But yeah, I’m questioning my decision making. And now that my ex has been charged, my kids really only have me. I don’t feel that anyone else would truly look out for the best interest of them. But my husband does help out with things however he doesn’t make much money and can’t even support himself financially so I wonder if I’d just be better off on my own. I make enough to support my kids without child support. My husband also has some other irresponsibility behaviors and he seems to look out for his own best interest before that of me or my kids. But it’s sometimes scary to think that if I weren’t with him, I’d have no one. My mom is deceased and I’m practically caregiver for my dad because he’s mentally ill.

Life happens and sometimes it isn't 'pretty'. Some people can be wonderful Until they make that commitment. Somehow that changes them. And, yes, you would have trust issues. Looking Back a person has 20/20 vision. All the what-if's. So -- you are where you are Now. We All have our short-coming. Your husband probably has some real assets -- look for Those Good parts of him. A question -- are you a believer? Then you have God to help you. Do you have a church pastor/ wife to go to for encouragement. If you Aren't a believer -- consider putting God into your life. Jesus Christ ,God's Son, died on the cross and rose again bodily -- taking our sins with Him. He'd like to be Your Savior. John 3:16 Life here on earth will not be perfect -- but with God's help and the encouragement of other believers --it Can be 'better'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rushing into a remarriage might not have been the right decision, but everyone makes mistakes. It's important not to make another by rushing to undo it. Divorcing after six years is not a small step to take, and divorce itself is costly.

 

Rather than going straight for divorce, with all the upheaval that brings, could you and your current husband get into marriage counselling to try to save the marriage first? If he is being irresponsible, and not seeing himself as part of a family but acting as if he is his only concern, then that is a real issue. He might not be happy with the way things are either.

 

I’ve never cheated, but my first husband physically abused me and my kids and now is facing jail time for indecent behavior with our daughters.
If it helps, sexual immorality is one of the permitted grounds for divorce in the Bible, so divorcing him was Biblical. Biblically, once remarried, getting a divorce again on non-Biblical grounds is a new sin (you're breaking a new set of marital vows), but remaining remarried isn't.

 

And best wishes to you and your family, as dealing with what your first husband was accused of must be a huge strain at the moment.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This may sound trite, but you have Jesus king of kings. Is your husband a believer?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This may sound trite, but you have Jesus king of kings. Is your husband a believer?

 

He is actually a youth pastor, which makes things more difficult because I feel he is held to a higher standard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I always have had the view that people rush into relationships.. Mainly due to them having a feeling of having something missing, a void that they feel needs filling.. But it's not always healthy,

my mother is into her third marriage now, I can't answer you're question as I've not read the whole of the old testament yet, but I hold a view that you should only get married once in you're lifetime.. Even though I know that's not biblical, as if a partner dies you are allowed to re-marry but I personally hold a view that I wouldn't ever do that.. As a never married single male I can not predict my future, however I see a marriage vow as a life long pact to one partner.. I see it as if a partner dies and you re-marry you are sharing you're life with 2 people or more if you marry anymore times.. I personally believe you should have one soul mate, not multiple people even if it's biblical.. I do hold strong controversial beliefs though so it's probably not what you wanted to hear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 "But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife."

 

The question I have is are you "born again"? Is you husband also "born again"? Perhaps you should read 1 Corinthian chapter 7 for yourself, as it gives you complete details on marriage and divorce. However Jesus give explicit warning about divorce in Matthew 5:32, 19:4-9 and in Mark 10:2-12.

 

Hardness of heart is always at the root of divorce. Many people divorce, and remarry someone much worse and regret the choices they made.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This may sound trite, but you have Jesus king of kings. Is your husband a believer?

 

He is actually a youth pastor, which makes things more difficult because I feel he is held to a higher standard.

Seems like satan likes to attack people in religious positions the most. And, yes, pastors / youth pastors / teachers Are held to a higher standard. We Want, Expect our religious leaders to be super-humans. That somehow they don't have the same hormones like 'we' do. Pastor's and secretaries. // Youth directors and high school young ladies // Awana leaders and the Awana Commanders who are married. Back many decades ago I was an Awana leader while in college , the Commander was just out of college and his wife had a little baby. He started coming onto me and I turned around and told him No. We were by ourselves in the records room. After that he completely ignored me -- and we all went to the same smallish church. He'd been friendly and helpful since I'd started coming to the church. And in another situation a friend of our's Wife was feeling fairly 'low'. Her husband it turns out had Also been in Awana and had run off with the church secretary. Before knowing That -- I'd suggested that getting active in a church would probably help. After learning That -- I thought -- Oh, my goodness. So much for 'church' being the place for healing. A few bad apples Can had a Bad impact on the other apples. But -- we need to Pray for those people. And for Our attitudes.

 

But isn't a lot of the problem -- we put our eyes on the people and take them off of God. Jesus Christ is the real head of the church. Satan has been attacking God's systems since the beginning of time. Sometimes positions of power / influence can get to a person's head. Almost like they are Above the 'law'. And when They go down -- they take so many people with them. People become Very disallusioned about church / God / leaders.

 

I sound like I'm down on AWANA -- but - not at all. It's a Wonderful youth organization.

 

Sorry this has turned into such a Long comment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

He is actually a youth pastor, which makes things more difficult because I feel he is held to a higher standard.

 

He is definitely held to a higher standard. How do you feel his relationship with Christ is though? Is he on fire, going through the motions?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to learn about your difficult situation, and I can certainly understand your feelings. I've noticed many who got into remarriages, has had faced some issues because of the baggage they carried from their previous relationships. As you look for wisdom to deal with your situation, I think the book, Restored & Remarried, by Gil and Brenda has some great insights. Hope you will find it useful. Prayers for you..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, bhopefu11 said:

I'm sorry to learn about your difficult situation, and I can certainly understand your feelings. I've noticed many who got into remarriages, has had faced some issues because of the baggage they carried from their previous relationships. As you look for wisdom to deal with your situation, I think the book, Restored & Remarried, by Gil and Brenda has some great insights. Hope you will find it useful. Prayers for you..

behopefu11, be sure to check out the date of the last post on any thread before posting a comment, the last post on this thread was Jan. 18,2018. Not any activity after that.  Lots to learn here, God bless.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎1‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 12:47 PM, txmom2three said:

I’ve been married to my 3rd husband for 6 years. I’m learning more and more about my personality and why I choose the men I choose and the dysfunction of my relationships. My current husband is better than the first. But I still feel I married him when I wasn’t emotionally healthy. But I am wondering if it’s biblical for me to remain married or not since it was a sin for me to get remarried in the first place?

 

 

Paul tells us that we can make a horrible mistake by not letting God make that choice for us and by all means observe 2nd.Cor .6:14- 16 " Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers ; For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion hath light with darkness ? " 15 ;  "And what concord hath Christ with Belial ? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel ? " 16 ;  "And what agreement hath the Temple of God ( of which you are ) with idols ? For ye are the Temple of the Living God ; as God hath said " I will dwell in them and walk in them ; and I be their God and they shall be my people ."

 

If you are in fact a Genuine believer that has received the Love of God in Christ and the indwelling Holy Spirit and are considering a marriage I strongly suggest that you do not pass over what St.Paul is saying in these passages in 2nd.Corinthians . There will never be any peace under your roof if you enter into a marriage with an unbeliever . Your life will be one filled with misery , pain and suffering . God has no problem with forgiving one of His own if they do make that horrible mistake . And even raise up a means to exit it . It is then and only then the full enjoyment of a genuine Christian life of fellowship and grace be received . So again,,,please trust God and listen attentively to His instructions when dealing with marriage . M

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎1‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 6:50 AM, txmom2three said:

 

He is actually a youth pastor, which makes things more difficult because I feel he is held to a higher standard.

Higher standard or not , can you attest to the fact that this person may not know Christ ? There are so many " Christians " that are boasting of their " salvation " when they have nothing more to show for it than a shallow conversion that won't survive the test of time . Please read Rom. 8:9-11 .  The indwelling Holy Spirit is the AUTHENTIC EVIDENCE of a GENUINE CONVERSION . It is Him who CONVICTS of ones salvation . It  is not Him who " convinces " one of their salvation . Huge difference between the two . M

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×