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My sorrow 2 years today

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    My sorrow 2 years today

    My father passed away from cancer 2 years ago today.., we all knew he was going to die as it was terminal the stomach cancer that's took the life of most of my dads side of the family..

    Grieving as I was back then for the preparation of my dads passing I was 25 years old at the time.., I was working full time at a Salvation Army homeless hostel working night shifts, myself battling with alcohol addiction the stress of not sleeping during the day & me looking after my dad the best I could all took it's toll on me.. I quit my job.

    If that wasn't bad enough I suspected at the time my mother was having an affair with another man while my dad was in the dying process... my suspicions were correct, my mother and father were married 25 years and I couldn't cope with all the mental hurts I was facing..
    my dying dad at the time also suspected my mother was seeing another man but I think he was more concerned about the fact he was going to die..
    I felt deep depression and stress at the fact I honestly couldn't get my head around the fact why my mother couldn't have waited until my father died before moving on..

    I was there when my dad died.. choked in his own blood in the end in hospital, the worst day of my life so far, me going home from the hospital in a taxi alone without my dad was the worst feeling in the world. My mother did not come to the hospital, I felt like I needed her there.. but life isn't always fair.

    After my dads passing it was apparent me and my mother would not get on., she moved away with the new boyfriend that she will marry soon. I moved as the family home was sold by my mother.. along with all my dads jewellery she stole off me that my dad left me.
    I've only seen my mother twice since.

    My life went from having everything I possibly hoped for to nothing. I lost my job... my dad, I feel like I lost my mother & the memories of my dad in our family home too was gone, along with the only sentimental things my dad had left me which my mother sold.. out of spite, we had no financial worries at the time with no mortgage, I later learned my mothers affair was out of spite.. as she was unhappy with the way my dad treated her throughout the years...

    I am not a person to ask for anything.. asking for a prayer seems to demanding to me, but I would like people to do as they wish and to know that someone cares about me is all I hope for.

    This isn't a story for poor me, poor me I want attention,.. my plea is that I have great resentments towards my mother and it's not healthy,.. and I also have a big fear of death,. I have had panic attacks in my sleep thinking I am going to die,..
    I am lonely & scared and just wish for some happiness. I feel lost and disconnected with society & the unfairness of my past is causing me anger.., I acknowledge my faults, my mind is still not heeled,..
    I feel I am no good at praying, my mind may be deceiving me.

    Where ever my dad is.. I hope he is in peace with the rest of my passed family members.

    I also wish peace on every forum member & happiness over this festive season.

    Thank you

    You're in my prayers Bliss. I feel ya, brother.

    God bless,

      I pray this forum helps you in some way. I am recently divorced from my wife after 15 yrs of marriage plus a few together. She had a situation where her dad was cheating while she was young and she got caught in the middle and has not been able to let go, which In my opinion, cost our relationship. Being that she was not at fault, she feels guilt and blame for something that she feels was unfairly pinned on her. Since then I doubt she has done anything wrong according to her. Her mom hated her dad so my wife hated me. My ex wife just could not let go of her past. The big difference for you is you are here so I am assuming you know CHRIST as your Savior. My wife does not and it pains me that she hated that I went down that "religious road". Although I cannot directly feel your pain, I can feel the pain of what the mental anguish has done as it has directly broken my heart. I can elaborate more in a marriage forum, but know your courage in posting here will help others like myself be able to heal. In time of course. I pray you find peace this Christmas and thank you for being kind enough to wish that on others here. May others follow your example.

        Bliss, I am sorry for your losses. I am praying for you brother.

        As for death: John 14:1-4

          So sorry for your loss. I am sure losing a loved one close to the holidays makes it even tougher. I am praying for Holy Spirit to comfort you and bring you through the mourning and into gladness.

            My prayer for you is, may God strengthen and be with you in this particular time. Also, that the soul of your dad rest in perfect peace. These I asked for you in Jesus name, Amen.

              Sorry for your loss. I am praying for you. May you find the strength to forgive your mom and find peace. Because with forgiveness comes peace. May God bless you with abundant blessings of happiness and peace. Have faith and everything will be okay. God bless you.

                Bliss, I am so sorry for all you have been through. It kind of sounds like you are trying to be everything you think you should be all at once, and that's probably a little much. You have a right to feel, to be angry, to be hurt. Please try to take it slow, and bring these feelings to prayer, but not in a way of guilt, but rather in honesty. Jesus Christ understands, and He doesn't expect you to suddenly become the instant perfect Christian. Grief and loss are so hard to console, I will be praying for you to find some peace in the Lord. I am so sorry you've been through all this.

                  Don't worry Bliss everything will be fine just trust in God. Try and read the gospel and see what you have in Jesus and who you are to him. Make it your confession and no matter the situation Jesus Christ is interfering for you at the right hand of God.
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