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Why am I still so flawed? Why haven't I changed?

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  • Why am I still so flawed? Why haven't I changed?

    Hi! For those who didn't see my introductory post; I've been a Christian for about 7 months. Many people talk about a transformation taking place when they convert. In my case there was a miraculous transformation in terms of mental health (I was suffering severe depression and paranoia which lessened to the extent that I no longer consider myself to have mental health problems) but I still struggle with anger and negativity toward other people. In many other cases change was slow and unstable. I have slowly become more sexually moral and more compassionate toward the homeless and other people in need. But for two days in a row I have felt like yelling abuse at people for being rude or just getting in my way. If the Holy Spirit is working in me why am I so angry and negative? Why does change have to be so gradual? I find that I slip back to my old ways when I'm having doubts, perhaps the problem is disconnection?

  • #2
    We can't understand the reason God acts the way he does in our lives. Sometimes he brings about quick changes and sometimes he works slowly. Someday we will see that what he did was best for us. Until then we just have to trust him. Have you ever read the book of Job? Job endured suffering so God could show Satan that he would remain faithful but God never explained to Job the reason he suffered. In his conversation with Job at the end of the book he demonstrated to Job his superior knowledge and in the end Job recognized that he had to trust God and not question him. Perhaps God is trying to teach you a similar lesson right now.
    Clyde Herrin's Blog
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    • #3
      Thank you. That helped a lot. I have read the book of Job and have also heard many people talk about it in relation to suffering. Something I have held onto throughout this journey is the belief that we cannot fully understand God and so we shouldn't jump to conclusions about the way things should be. Sometimes I need reminding of that.
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      • #4
        Originally posted by Rob View Post
        Hi! For those who didn't see my introductory post; I've been a Christian for about 7 months. Many people talk about a transformation taking place when they convert. In my case there was a miraculous transformation in terms of mental health (I was suffering severe depression and paranoia which lessened to the extent that I no longer consider myself to have mental health problems) but I still struggle with anger and negativity toward other people. In many other cases change was slow and unstable. I have slowly become more sexually moral and more compassionate toward the homeless and other people in need. But for two days in a row I have felt like yelling abuse at people for being rude or just getting in my way. If the Holy Spirit is working in me why am I so angry and negative? Why does change have to be so gradual? I find that I slip back to my old ways when I'm having doubts, perhaps the problem is disconnection?
        I think it's safe to say God is working in you helping you to be humble and honest. When i saw your post was titled "Why am I so Flawed?" I said uh-oh me too and clicked on it. I'll be praying God softens your heart even more to others, pray the same for me too.
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        • #5
          Originally posted by Rob View Post
          Hi! For those who didn't see my introductory post; I've been a Christian for about 7 months. Many people talk about a transformation taking place when they convert. In my case there was a miraculous transformation in terms of mental health (I was suffering severe depression and paranoia which lessened to the extent that I no longer consider myself to have mental health problems) but I still struggle with anger and negativity toward other people. In many other cases change was slow and unstable. I have slowly become more sexually moral and more compassionate toward the homeless and other people in need. But for two days in a row I have felt like yelling abuse at people for being rude or just getting in my way. If the Holy Spirit is working in me why am I so angry and negative? Why does change have to be so gradual? I find that I slip back to my old ways when I'm having doubts, perhaps the problem is disconnection?
          Hello Rob,

          All Christians doubt, and doubts present themselves as obstacles which when overcome strengthen our faith. Whether it is an intellectual conviction or emotional circumstance (loss of loved ones), doubt presents itself in your favor for an opportunity to grow in faith.

          If you notice you're looking at life in hindsight which is said to be 20/20. If I look at my own life today, I have difficulty searching for ways the Holy Spirit has changed me, it is only when I look at my life in hindsight through the lens of a historical record that I can see the drastic change. The changes have been rather subtle and constant over the last decades. Which today, if I stood next to my old self some decades ago, I would not even be recognizable.

          Something people do not realize when new to Christianity. God hates perfectly, and He even hates a certain love which is the love for the World. This kind of love, John writes, means the Love of the Father is not in you. When you come to Christ and Love God with your heart soul and mind, you'll also hate the things God hates. Even if the World hates you, remember it hated Christ first. We stand up for the truth, and confront falsehood, something the world hates because we threaten that system. We love our brethren, and humanity in general, but we hate the organized system (World) which has captivated the minds of the people. There is such thing as a righteous anger and hatred, but you should not use that as an excuse to hate FOR your own self-righteous ambitions.

          My suggestion is to pray anytime you feel anger and hatred. It only takes a single sentence to acknowledge your feelings to God. For example, someone may cut me off in traffic, and I might say to God, forgive me for my impatience and lack of emotional control. Move on, but then again, reading the news or a publication I sometimes find someone promoting the murder of the innocent (abortion). I may make known at that time my emotion, and say something like, God I am angry that peoples commit such atrocity. Should I not hate the things that you hate? Proverbs 6:17 How should I deal with this Lord? Usually, that is enough to calm the emotional storm that is brewing, calming me as I recognize God's Sovereignty and His slowness to anger, when I begin listening I become more rational rather than emotional.
          • Psalm 139:21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?

          Mind you, I am bi-polar and have a mood disorder. I live a very isolated life all things considered to prevent triggers which provoke strong emotions, and have the option of picking my friends rather than falling into relationships which are required through work etc. Having this option I choose my friends wisely, however, when I am out in the world it is full time work for me to hold my emotions at bay. Thankfully medication helps some and makes the triggers which provoke emotion bearable. I am not suggesting that you need or should go on medication, but I am merely sharing my own obstacles which over time have increased and strengthened my Faith. I spend a lot of time through introspection, identifying the "triggers" that provoke emotions such as anger and hatred, and with identification comes awareness, prevention and a rational solution which needs be practiced. Another words I do not only focus on what another did, but I ask myself why do I feel this way because of what another did? I thank the Holy Spirit for His subtle convictions to my conscience which bring my faults to the forefront.

          Lastly, you can always slip back easily into your old self. Your ways are like a worn path that are easy to follow. Your sins are made habitual patterns of behavior, the key is to tread new pathways and walk them to make it well traveled. Before you know, in hindsight, you'll look back and see the old self a faint memory which you seldom seek scenic familiarity.

          God bless,
          William
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          • #6
            Thank you so much for your kind responses.
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            • #7
              Rob have you ever heard of Inner healing? I have a Ebook called Prayers that Heal the Heart. I can give you the Book through Drop Box on-line. They are a bunch of Prayers you can do to get rid of those issues. Prayer Counseling that breaks every yoke. You basically ask the Holy Spirit what is in your heart. The Holy Spirit will tell you then you do these prayers to get rid of them. The Holy Spirit will lead you on this. The Holy Spirit tells you with Spontaneous thoughts. On Generational sin and curses, yes we could be cursed since birth with these sins our ancestors did. Then there is ungodly soul ties and negative expectations and inner vows. For each one you have to find a verse in the Bible that would be the opposite. Since you already know you have a anger issue you can do the prayer on that just look up two verses on the opposite of anger. Or I can give you the prayers but you will have to start with the Generational sins and curses and then there is ungodly soul ties first they have to be in order. Basically you would want to cut all Generational sins all the way back to Adam and Eve.
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              • #8
                Remember one thing Rob since you are a new Christian the enemy also will put thoughts in your head. Try your best to ignore them. Satan knows his time is limited we are in end times so he attacks with issues of Anger, etc. He wants you to leave God. Ignore them do not fall on them. Remember they are not your thoughts just ignore them. To act it out is a sin. And you do not want to sin. Once you ignore them it will become easier to ignore them. When you finish this one let me know i will send you the rest.
                Go in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit or Lord what issue or trait is present in your family line you need to see if there is anger in your family line.
                Lord, is this trait or issue present in my family line? You ask the Holy Spirit. He will give them to you in Spontaneous thoughts and you should write them down.
                1) I confess and repent of the sin of my Ancestors, my Parents, and my own sins of____________, and my anger and resentment against You, God, for allowing this to happen in my life.
                2) I forgive and release my Ancestors for passing on to me this sin and for the resulting curse of__________(Be Specific) I ask to forgive me, and receive Your Forgiveness. I forgive myself for participating in this sin.
                3)I place the cross of Christ between my ancestors and myself , as a baby in my mother's womb. I command the sin of________ and all accompanying curses to be halted at the cross of Jesus Christ, and for freedom and release to flow down from the Cross of Christ to that baby in the womb.
                * Curses are stopped at the Cross of Christ(Galatians 3:13).
                * It is most powerful to apply the grace of God at the point of need(i.e., when the child received the curses in his or her mother's womb). God lives in timelessness, so this is no problem for Him.
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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Amber Crystal View Post
                  Basically you would want to cut all Generational sins all the way back to Adam and Eve.
                  Can you prove this from the Bible? The Bible says that when we put our faith in Christ his blood cleanses us from all sin.
                  Clyde Herrin's Blog
                  Comment>

                  • #10
                    Here is where it is in the Bible about Generational sins and curses. I'm surprised you would think i would put something without proof..

                    Answer:
                    The Bible mentions “generational curses” in several places (Exodus 20:5; 34:7; Numbers 14:18; Deuteronomy 5:9). God warns that He is “a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.”
                    By clicking on this below you can find the rest of your answer..

                    What does the Bible say about breaking generational curses?
                    Last edited by Amber Crystal; 12-26-2016, 08:27 PM. Reason: To comment on the link. I put a link but I noticed after it was not a link
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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Amber Crystal View Post
                      Here is where it is in the Bible about Generational sins and curses. I'm surprised you would think i would put something without proof..

                      Answer:
                      The Bible mentions “generational curses” in several places (Exodus 20:5; 34:7; Numbers 14:18; Deuteronomy 5:9). God warns that He is “a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.”
                      By clicking on this below you can find the rest of your answer..

                      What does the Bible say about breaking generational curses?
                      And I suggest this thread: How God Visits Sins on the Third and Fourth Generation -Christforums

                      William
                      Comment>

                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Amber Crystal View Post
                        Here is where it is in the Bible about Generational sins and curses. I'm surprised you would think i would put something without proof..

                        Answer:
                        The Bible mentions “generational curses” in several places (<a class="rtBibleRef" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/Exod%2020.5" data-reference="Exod 20.5" data-version="esv" data-purpose="bible-reference" target="_blank">Exodus 20:5</a>; 34:7; <a class="rtBibleRef" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/Num%2014.18" data-reference="Num 14.18" data-version="esv" data-purpose="bible-reference" target="_blank">Numbers 14:18</a>; <a class="rtBibleRef" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/Deut%205.9" data-reference="Deut 5.9" data-version="esv" data-purpose="bible-reference" target="_blank">Deuteronomy 5:9</a>). God warns that He is “a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.”
                        By clicking on this below you can find the rest of your answer..

                        What does the Bible say about breaking generational curses?
                        Perhaps you should have read the whole link. Your own soruce states:

                        There is a trend in the church today to try to blame every sin and problem on some sort of generational curse. This is not biblical. God’s warning to visit iniquity on future generations is part of the Old Testament Law. A generational curse was a consequence for a specific nation (Israel) for a specific sin (idolatry).
                        This is not part of the new covenant.
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                        • #13
                          Origen agreed.
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                          • #14
                            No it is part of the now. Do you think God a jealous God, He even admits it would stop those curses? God has every right to be jealous when people bow down to false Idol. God should get the Glory of everything He made it. So I think you do not want to believe it but have you ever heard God? Cause you can if people when they pray ask God a question and quiet themselves and focus on Jesus they will hear God in Spontaneous thoughts instead they leave prayer right away with out waiting for a reply. Why don't you try it and ask God if Generational sins and Curses are of the past? I can not believe how you are acting. You re just like the Jews of old who crucified Jesus who came to teach us new things. You see someone told me that we can now eat ham and other clean animals. But where does say that in the Bible. Watch Google Can We hear God. It happened in the old testament it was the Israelites who decided to have the 10 commandments instead of God talking to us all the time. They were afraid of the Pillar of Fire God talked through. God does want a relationship with each of us. I wish you Christian would wake up. You see the Churches will not tell you that you can hear God but they can hear Him. How do you think they get their sermons. The Church is afraid if they told you that you can hear God that you would bring something bad form the Spirit wold. That is why they don't tell you.
                            Communion with God Ministries: Free Christian Books, Hearing God's Voice, Dream Interpretation, Parenting, Five-Fold Ministry, Counseling, Wealth, etc.. Mark Virkler who is a pastor in New York has spent his life teaching people to hear God. And you know what God can even bring alive the Bible for you through Visions while you read it. It is to bad that you do not believe cause you are missing out on Hearing Him. Note some Prescription medication will not let you hear Him. Cause prescription medication is sorcery according to the bible. Of Course look who runs Big Pharma illuminati member Rockefeller's. Show in the New Testament where it says that generational sins and curses are of the past. Then I will believe it.
                            Comment>

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Amber Crystal View Post
                              No it is part of the now. Do you think God a jealous God, He even admits it would stop those curses? God has every right to be jealous when people bow down to false Idol. God should get the Glory of everything He made it. So I think you do not want to believe it but have you ever heard God? Cause you can if people when they pray ask God a question and quiet themselves and focus on Jesus they will hear God in Spontaneous thoughts instead they leave prayer right away with out waiting for a reply. Why don't you try it and ask God if Generational sins and Curses are of the past? I can not believe how you are acting. You re just like the Jews of old who crucified Jesus who came to teach us new things. You see someone told me that we can now eat ham and other clean animals. But where does say that in the Bible. Watch Google Can We hear God. It happened in the old testament it was the Israelites who decided to have the 10 commandments instead of God talking to us all the time. They were afraid of the Pillar of Fire God talked through. God does want a relationship with each of us. I wish you Christian would wake up. You see the Churches will not tell you that you can hear God but they can hear Him. How do you think they get their sermons. The Church is afraid if they told you that you can hear God that you would bring something bad form the Spirit wold. That is why they don't tell you.
                              Communion with God Ministries: Free Christian Books, Hearing God's Voice, Dream Interpretation, Parenting, Five-Fold Ministry, Counseling, Wealth, etc.. Mark Virkler who is a pastor in New York has spent his life teaching people to hear God. And you know what God can even bring alive the Bible for you through Visions while you read it. It is to bad that you do not believe cause you are missing out on Hearing Him. Note some Prescription medication will not let you hear Him. Cause prescription medication is sorcery according to the bible. Of Course look who runs Big Pharma illuminati member Rockefeller's. Show in the New Testament where it says that generational sins and curses are of the past. Then I will believe it.
                              Prescription medication is not sorcery according to the Bible. It is sorcery according to you. Sorcery and magic was not merely the use of various plants and remedies but spells, incantations, and rituals in order to placate pagan gods. None of that is present or even part of modern pharmacology.

                              Moreover you are committing the root fallacy. You assume that since a word had one meaning at some point in time (in this case the 1st century), it always carries the same meaning. This is false. Greek scholars have point out that this is a common word study fallacy committed by those who do not know Greek. No competent Greek scholar holds your view and you cannot name one who does.
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