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Joel Osteen Parody

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    Joel Osteen Parody

    Joel Olsteen's sermons appear to be wall to wall scripture-free self-affirming aphorisms. Because I find him to be completely worthless, I can't comprehend how he has one of the country's largest churches, aside from what Jesus said about the wide vs. narrow gates. See in the video, the big globe, no cross. That's very fitting for Olsteen.

    Look at this new book by Olsteen:
    Click image for larger version

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    Any Christian who doesn't know Olsteen would think this book is about the Power of God, the great I AM. This is Olsteen. "I AM" in the book title means the reader, not God. How is this book not a big middle-finger extended to God?


      I am reminded of Proverbs 1 (NIV)

      20 Out in the open wisdom calls aloud,
      she raises her voice in the public square;
      21 on top of the wall she cries out,
      at the city gate she makes her speech:

      22 “How long will you who are simple love your simple ways?
      How long will mockers delight in mockery
      and fools hate knowledge?
      23 Repent at my rebuke!
      Then I will pour out my thoughts to you,
      I will make known to you my teachings.
      24 But since you refuse to listen when I call
      and no one pays attention when I stretch out my hand,
      25 since you disregard all my advice
      and do not accept my rebuke,
      26 I in turn will laugh when disaster strikes you;
      I will mock when calamity overtakes you—
      27 when calamity overtakes you like a storm,
      when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind,
      when distress and trouble overwhelm you.

      28 “Then they will call to me but I will not answer;
      they will look for me but will not find me,
      29 since they hated knowledge
      and did not choose to fear the LORD.
      30 Since they would not accept my advice
      and spurned my rebuke,
      31 they will eat the fruit of their ways
      and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.
      32 For the waywardness of the simple will kill them,
      and the complacency of fools will destroy them;
      33 but whoever listens to me will live in safety
      and be at ease, without fear of harm.”

      In my experience, one ignores God's word to his own great detriment.
      Osteen and his 'disciples' are in for a rude awakening.


        Not another ear tickler.

        I am always very careful when criticizing a supposed man of God, but prosperity preaching and as I call it "blab it and grab it" or name it and claim it is just heresy, to me this preaching is all about the person and not God, tell me how many of the apostles were filthy rich and comfortable, and how many died a martyrs death after years of persecution and all they owned they were wearing, how many prayed to God everyday to be delivered from the oppression and even asked for death to be with Him?, you see it is real faith when you`re not rich and comfortable to depend on God for your every need, not your wants., it is real faith to take up your cross and follow Jesus Christ when times are hard and not give up.

        Christ never once promised riches or wealth, and to deny yourself is to forget Earthly wealth and see it as dung, but strive for real riches that are in heaven, you must align your will with Gods will, and yes God does bless some Christians with riches and they in turn give back to God just to bless and honor Him because they love Him and desire His will be done.

        I know I preach OSAS and believe that standpoint, I also believe the grace of God leads one to repentance,if you're not preaching repentance and holiness I don't want to hear it, now I am not perfect by no means and don't mean to sound condescending.

        Let me tell you the ONE way to Jesus, that is on your knees in repentance and reverence.

        These are just my beliefs on the matter, may the peace of God be with you.

          Ah yes, the prosperity preachers. The reason they are successful at all, is because people are desperate for better lives, more money, better jobs, happier lives...etc. If there is a way to get all that without having to work for it, and someone like this guy presents it to them in a shiny wrapper, they will bite on that hook like a hungry trout. What the people don't realize is that the only one getting rich out of the situation is Osteen himself, and that's the way the "great" man wants it. People want to get everything out of life without having to go to all the trouble to earn it, and that's why these scammers are out there, happily presenting this nonsense and getting rich, richer and richest from those who really can't afford to give what it apparently takes to become rich themselves.

            Christ and the apostles all suffered pain and suffering at least one point, and the scripture says, "No servant is above his master." John 15:20. Cherry coated lies as told by Osteen are most certainly false. However, note it is true God did bless the ancient Israelites at times. However, that was a different time. Does anyone want to expand on this Israelite thing?
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