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Childless Marriage

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  • Childless Marriage

    Has anyone felt the conviction not to have children if and when they get married? I have a disability and several issues that could very likely be passed to any children I have, so after much prayer and consideration, I've decided to have a vasectomy prior to my marriage to avoid the potential for children. I'm wondering if anyone else has the same conviction, even if for different reasons.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Penguin View Post
    Has anyone felt the conviction not to have children if and when they get married? I have a disability and several issues that could very likely be passed to any children I have, so after much prayer and consideration, I've decided to have a vasectomy prior to my marriage to avoid the potential for children. I'm wondering if anyone else has the same conviction, even if for different reasons.
    I had put some thought into it.... wondering whether manic depression could be handed down from one generation to another... I think the greater risks are learned negative patterns of behavior handed down from one generation to another. My daughter is now in her twenties and hasn't exhibited any signs of mania or depression even during some pretty strenuous conditions...

    God bless,
    William
    Comment>

    • #3
      Originally posted by William View Post

      I had put some thought into it.... wondering whether manic depression could be handed down from one generation to another... I think the greater risks are learned negative patterns of behavior handed down from one generation to another. My daughter is now in her twenties and hasn't exhibited any signs of mania or depression even during some pretty strenuous conditions...

      God bless,
      William

      I looked at that, as well as spina bifida and some of my other issues. The chances are slim, but I also have my own abilities to consider. In my current condition, I couldn't care for a child, and my condition has been degrading for some time. So as I've continually prayed about it, I'm convicted to not have children.
      Comment>

      • #4
        Originally posted by Penguin View Post


        I looked at that, as well as spina bifida and some of my other issues. The chances are slim, but I also have my own abilities to consider. In my current condition, I couldn't care for a child, and my condition has been degrading for some time. So as I've continually prayed about it, I'm convicted to not have children.
        That must of been a really tough decision. But I'd like to say that I find your decision to be a selfless one.

        God bless,
        William
        Comment>

        • #5
          Originally posted by William View Post

          That must of been a really tough decision. But I'd like to say that I find your decision to be a selfless one.

          God bless,
          William

          There is a lot of dreams I've had to give up, but there's also a lot of stress I won't have. I did find out I'm going to be an uncle by the end of the year, so I can always have those fun experiences.
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          • #6
            Originally posted by Penguin View Post


            There is a lot of dreams I've had to give up, but there's also a lot of stress I won't have. I did find out I'm going to be an uncle by the end of the year, so I can always have those fun experiences.
            Congratulations!
            Comment>

            • #7
              Originally posted by Penguin View Post


              I looked at that, as well as spina bifida and some of my other issues. The chances are slim, but I also have my own abilities to consider. In my current condition, I couldn't care for a child, and my condition has been degrading for some time. So as I've continually prayed about it, I'm convicted to not have children.

              [SIZE=12px][FONT=arial]Hi even we didnt see each other ,but we are family in my heart because God´s love. God teaches us to love each other. After reading your story ,my heart is ached , Also i would like to be your side,And share your condition .it is realy hard time for you, i hope you will get better, do you read bible at home ?
              I was badly sick and lived in hard time before.My life was very hard too, so i can understand your feeling . I will pray for you ,look forward to more connection with you. God bless you.

              Best Regard
              Happy life[/FONT][/SIZE]
              Comment>

              • #8
                Originally posted by Penguin View Post
                I've decided to have a vasectomy prior to my marriage to avoid the potential for children.
                That's a noble thing to do, if you're worried about the health of children you might have. You can adopt to have children, or expand your options with foster children.
                Comment>

                • #9
                  I decided to never have children for spiritual reasons. Some so-called 'Believers' have laid a guilt trip on me for this but I don't care.

                  Something I learned a long time ago : Those who desire children relate to and identify with the world and the flesh......No exceptions. Jesus said "Flesh gives birth to flesh and spirit gives birth to spirit" - John 6:63 Psalm 51:5 says we're all conceived in sin. ( also 58:3 ). There is nothing more worldly than having kids. Jesus was childless and so were the majority of prophets in scripture.

                  The famous cop out is : "Be fruitful and multiply" but this was only given when there were no people on the earth.

                  1 John 2:17 says "Do not love the world or anything in the world". Those who want children love the world.
                  Comment>

                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Solo4God View Post
                    I decided to never have children for spiritual reasons. Some so-called 'Believers' have laid a guilt trip on me for this but I don't care.

                    Something I learned a long time ago : Those who desire children relate to and identify with the world and the flesh......No exceptions. Jesus said "Flesh gives birth to flesh and spirit gives birth to spirit" - John 6:63 Psalm 51:5 says we're all conceived in sin. ( also 58:3 ). There is nothing more worldly than having kids. Jesus was childless and so were the majority of prophets in scripture.

                    The famous cop out is : "Be fruitful and multiply" but this was only given when there were no people on the earth.

                    1 John 2:17 says "Do not love the world or anything in the world". Those who want children love the world.
                    The Scriptures don't agree with you. In the Scriptures children are a blessing, indeed a reward, from the Lord and NO WHERE is it suggest that having children is wrong. In fact it is encouraged.

                    "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
                    the fruit of the womb a reward
                    .
                    Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
                    are the children of one's youth.
                    Blessed is the man
                    who fills his quiver with them
                    !"
                    (Psalm 127:3-5)

                    "He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!" (Psalm 113: 9)

                    "So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander." (1 Timothy 5:14)
                    Comment>

                    • #11
                      Amen, Origen.

                      As to the original question, I believe it comes to what is your heart. In the case of the original poster, he is dealing with serious health issues and he is right to think it through. Others may wish to forgo having children to better focus upon a ministry. Children take a ton of time, energy, and money to care for. It isn't an easy decision and I wouldn't presume upon anyone with an answer. However, simply thinking such a question through does not seem like a wrong thing to do, but rather is being a good steward.

                      On the other hand, there are completely selfish reasons not to have children. If that is where one's heart is, it is not a good place to be. We are called to daily examine ourselves (2 Corinthians 13:5).

                      Finally, on a personal note, my wife and I struggled mightily with a childless marriage for a long time. Some health issues she had made it difficult to have the wee ones. But with the help of a good, Christian doctor, and the will of the Lord, we have two beautiful, completely healthy little ones. They are a handful, but they are also truly a blessing from the Lord.

                      Anyway, these are just some thoughts I have on the matter.
                      Comment>

                      • #12
                        I have had the same thoughts. I grew up with terrible parents, and as a result, I vowed NEVER to end up like them. I never drank liquor, never smoked, never gambled; but I still feel like I may end up like them in my parenting styles. I sometimes think of just being single, so as to guarantee that I will never end up like my parents. I still haven't made up my mind though.
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                        • #13
                          Having children is certainly a blessing and a beautiful thing, but it is all a personal decision and one that should be taken seriously. I have a lot of friends who do not plan on having children, for various reasons, and then I have had some flip flop, and then others who think the opposite, and they change that...it all just depends on what is best for you. I really have opinion on the matter outside of that, and for the most part I am pretty sure that that is a good thing.
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                          • #14
                            My husband and I have no children. I had a problem with my reproductive system. After 3 tries of a workup, my husband decided to quit and we just accepted that we will have no children. The workup was tedious and expensive but the main reason was that I was hospitalized for surgery of ruptured ovarian cyst. And so as not to endanger my life, my husband said no more. But in fairness to the situation, we are happy as a couple and I guess that is already a gift. Sometimes I think that if we had children perhaps we would have succumbed to the pressure and have separated because of the burden of problems in raising children. And now we are used to being together just the 2 of us and in our senior years, we are trying to enjoy every minute of our life together.
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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Penguin View Post
                              Has anyone felt the conviction not to have children if and when they get married? I have a disability and several issues that could very likely be passed to any children I have, so after much prayer and consideration, I've decided to have a vasectomy prior to my marriage to avoid the potential for children. I'm wondering if anyone else has the same conviction, even if for different reasons.
                              I do think that your thought are right and very wise.
                              Looking into the future and thinking smart about the things that are important to you, and to avoid possible diseases and disability, vasectomy is a good choice. I am happy that your confident in yourself, and a marriage can be a good and strong one, without children too.
                              Comment>
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