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Funny One-Liners 1

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    Funny One-Liners 1

    99 percent of lawyers give all the rest a bad name.

    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

    The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.

    I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

    The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

    Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

    Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
    Matthew 5
    16 Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

    Matthew 7
    12 However you want people to treat you, so treat them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

    1 Corinthians 13
    1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

    James 1
    19 Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;
    20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

    1 Peter 3
    15 Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence.

    Yes I have feelings if I just had emotions then I'd be more caring.
    I didn't break wind,I only released pressure!
    A mind is a terrible thing to waste I'll worry about that after this level of mario.
    I didn't see your name on it so I drank it,why'd you mark all over it anyways?
    Let's talk turkey don't be chicken.
    You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish,my fish never carries a tune.


      "I thought he was going to hit me, so I hit him back first."
      Andy Capp


        If you give someone a piece of your mind you will have less to use, yourself.


          "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." --Groucho Marx

          Edit: I had to add this additional Groucho quote. See if you can put it to use sometime soon:

          "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
          Last edited by Eric T.; 12-16-2017, 07:24 PM. Reason: Need to add one more.


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