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Christian Fellowship

John Calvin puts forward a very simple reason why love is the greatest gift: “Because faith and hope are our own: love is diffused among others.” In other words, faith and hope benefit the possessor, but love always benefits another. In John 13:34–35 Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Love always requires an “other” as an object; love cannot remain within itself, and that is part of what makes love the greatest gift.
David Lee

Funny One-Liners 1

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99 percent of lawyers give all the rest a bad name.

 

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 

The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.

 

I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

 

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

 

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

 

Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

 

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Yes I have feelings if I just had emotions then I'd be more caring.

I didn't break wind,I only released pressure!

A mind is a terrible thing to waste I'll worry about that after this level of mario.

I didn't see your name on it so I drank it,why'd you mark all over it anyways?

Let's talk turkey don't be chicken.

You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish,my fish never carries a tune.

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If you give someone a piece of your mind you will have less to use, yourself.

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"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." --Groucho Marx

 

Edit: I had to add this additional Groucho quote. See if you can put it to use sometime soon:

 

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

Edited by Eric T.
Need to add one more.
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The teacher announced to the class that they were going to learn a new word today, and the word was officiate. She asks if anyone can give her a sentence with the word officiate in it.  Little Johnny raises his hand and says "my sister got sick from a fish she ate."

 

benji

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I was doing well in my stand-up comedy routine until someone threw a crutch on stage and told me to use it for my lame jokes.

I replied, "Shall I expect a wheel-chair next!"

A woman in the audience shrieked with laughter at this,  and carried on laughing so uncontrollably while rolling on the floor that she split her sides.

While some paramedics carried her out on a stretcher I called out, "You'll be alright soon, dear. Remember, laughter is the best medicine!"

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