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MilleVelect

Love of God vs the Love of Women

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I wrote a short ebook, and it's now available at Amazon.

The book is weighty to me. I discuss in it some concepts thay i found really interesting; such as happiness, oneness with God, relationship, Life and Death, etc...It's very personal, and revealing. Check it out at:

 

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_rsis_1_5?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=endy+fonrose&sprefix=Endy+%2Caps%2C137

 

 

I will post a little sample here also.

 

 

*I saw thrones and they that sat upon them.

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Introduction

 

 

This book was written with the vision of hope. This book is my way of communicating with Saints scattered everywhere throughout the world, and exhort them, and motivate them, as they walk with me in a journey that God himself, once walked with me.

The book is very personal. It is all about how I ended up loving God more than I loved women. I talk openly about a lot of things close to my heart, being confident that nothing can be use against me, for the simple fact that I’ve already overcome the struggles that once brought me conflict.

I know many men and women who have dealt with the same struggles life dealt me. Many men and women have had plenty vexations with love partners. They struggled with it their entire lives. They could never come to an understanding of the reason why relationships never dealt with them kindly. Why was it so hard to trust their spouse? Why was there so much conflict in the marriage? Why they suffered so much because of the actions of their partners?

I’m aware that it is not the case for every relationship. Some were born into fortunate circumstances, and they were never conflicted by certain spirits. We bless God for that. But we were not all that fortunate.

I write to those with before said issues. Those who were once chasers of women, or still are. Those who were hurt or betrayed by spouses. Those who felt happiest, laying there beside a woman; but ended up being tormented by the same woman whom they gave their heart to. I speak to them.

We, who’ve been subject to the same terrors, do speak the same language. So follow me then, as I show you the circumstances of my birth, my fall when I committed adultery, my salvation, and the terrors of hell which followed after; and my knowledge in the concept of Life and death, oneness in God, and Happiness in the Father; the doctrines which ultimately led to my escape from hell city, and from the hellish woman, whom Solomon in his wisdom poetically warned us of in the holy scriptures.

Take a walk with me then; as I bring you into the very plays of my life, which things are also written upon the sheets of time.

 

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Chapter 3: Life and Death

 

I did pretty good for a while. My life was going well; I felt good both physically and spiritually. I just had to maintain the principles that kept me out of trouble.

Notwithstanding, there was some vexation at times. The good news was, that the torment never came in the same intensity after a season of walking with God. It came back fainter. It was like God was chipping away at a huge rock; and the rock kept diminishing in size every season. Another beautiful thing was, as the torment diminished, my knowledge of God increased exceedingly; as well as the love of God in my heart, and my desire to see the day that God would reign on the earth. Little did I know that I was going to reach even greater heights than what I’ve already reached.

I had to find a way to deal with my little vexation. So I did what I always do. I went to the Father and inquired of him. I needed to understand why I was having trouble with my fiancé at the moment.

The Lord God answered.

As I was working during the day like I always do, an unfamiliar thought emboldened in my mind. I started thinking about life and death, as referred in the bible. The Bible mentioned it frequently. Jesus talked about it consistently. But no one I knew had ever told me what the doctrine was.

Later on I checked the internet for books on the subject but found nothing substantial. I didn’t quite understand that. How can such a talked about subject of Jesus himself be so overlooked. I decided I was going to check YouTube as well.

Unfortunately, the subject was not talked about in a clear manner on youtube either.

But at that time I didn’t need any outside help. God was teaching me already. I looked at all the scriptures dealing with life and death; and they all pointed toward a spiritual reality.

God told Adam, the day you eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, you shall surely die. Adam, through his wife, took and ate of it, and nothing seemed to have happened to him -other than the fact that he suddenly realized that he was naked. Was God wrong? No; we know that. All it showed us was that according to God, death happens spiritually. I understood that. But I was certain that there was more to it.

My mind kept rolling over the concept. I started thinking about the way that a tree grew. First, it’s a seed; than after being watered, it begins to take roots. Then it stems, and afterwards becomes a big tree. When its season comes, it brings forth fruits.

I saw this analogy in the way I pictured Sin -that evil spirit that was present, even when the first transgression was committed in the heavenly places, before man was. I pictured sin growing into man’s heart just about the same manner.

What I realized was that the love of women had grown into my heart by certain actions that I committed. I constantly followed after women- idolatry was taking roots. I started laying with them- I went deeper into darkness. I took a man’s wife because she wanted to be with me- by that action I destroyed my own soul: I gave entrance to demons to torment me with distrust, unfaithfulness, and idolatry. On top of that, it created in me a lust for woman’s love. I had to have it. I needed it. Much like a crackhead extremely desire crack. I had gone into the depths of Sin, to the point that I couldn’t understand how a man could be happy without a woman; that there was nothing else more enjoyable in life. Just to live your life for God became weird and undesirable.

I felt like I was now returning to God from a long journey into Sin. As months went by, I progressed in the pilgrim’s journey with God. My Fiancé felt the change and was having trouble herself. She unconsciously felt that my love was no longer on her. I will talk more on that subject later.

As I pursued the concept further, I stumbled on some materials that are uncommon in the Christian world. I observed the parallels in the doctrines, and I did some research. I’m referring to the doctrines of a man known as Gautama Siddhartha; also known as Buddha.

Now, I have to clarify that I do not believe in the Buddhist religion. There’s one way to God, and that is through Christ. However, Paul writes that, as the Greeks say that man is the offspring of God, they then should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us.

God wants every man to seek after him. And before Christ, men found him through different channels. The Greeks, through philosophy; the hermit, through solitude; the Chinese, through wisdom and ethics; Gautama, through enlightenment. If they sought after him in truth, they found him.

Gautama I believe was such a man. His story bares witness in my spirit, through the common language that we speak, which is Godliness; even though I also believe that the men that came after him to establish the Buddhist religion were of the darkness, and did not follow his doctrine in truth, as Satan has done with many Christian churches. Nevertheless, I do see the light in the original teachings of Gautama. I will give you a very quick summary of his journey.

Gautama grew up as a noble of some kind in Nepal, near the Himalayas somewhere. The lives of the people around him were promiscuous. They lived in fornication. Gautama felt dissatisfied and wanted something of a higher nature. He saw the poor of the street, and the very old, and realized that death was the end of all men. He left his wife and children to pursue after spiritual things. On his way out, he heard the voice of the enemy promising him wealth if he would lay down his determination to find truth. He didn’t listen.

Unlike the materialistic American world that we live in, in that part of the world, men are very conscious of spiritual things. It wasn’t hard for Gautama to find a group of ascetics who believed that through bodily sufferings they would encounter God. He stayed with them long, but felt no results. He was seeking God in truth.

When he felt that there was no point to their practice, he left them where they were, and went to find himself something to eat. He then went and sat under a tree; and there, he saw life clearly as it was, and understood what it was all about. He had reached enlightenment.

Now the devil would have mankind believe that the tree he sat under was magical somehow; but this is superstition. It was just a tree. All that happened was that God came to him, and gave him light; as it happens to many Christian saints who find God.

After he had reached his enlightenment, Buddha had begun to teach a new doctrine. It was new, and it was full of power. The doctrine was this: all the miseries in life are caused by cravings. Craving for all sorts of things. And that a man’s goal in life was to reach Nirvana; which meant, to reach the serenity of the soul; the place where the soul is perfectly at peace, happy, and unbothered. Sound familiar?

It did to me. He’s talking about life and death.

So I understood what life was. It is the state where man is in right accordance with God; and not walking contrary to him; which eventually brings a man to a state of perfect peace, or Nirvana.

As I mentioned earlier, the analogy of a tree for representing the growth of Sin, the same analogy can be applied to the Spirit of God, which is also the spirit of Holiness. If a man continues to walk in it, the spirit eventually grows in him, and becomes a tree in him; and by so doing, becomes more like God, until he reaches peace against all evil desires.

But of course, there are degrees in everything. So the level of peace depends on the degree of holiness.

And that was the growth that was now taking place in me. As I grew more in the spirit of God, I was becoming more like him, and my evil desires diminished. I was no longer seeking her love as much. I was no longer tormented by her actions as much. Rather, I sought after my own peace and happiness. I never ill treated her; but she became less of an essential part of life to me. I had grown tremendously.

 

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@MilleVelect Just finished chapter 1. And I must say your prior life to Christ was a familiar one. Like you I noticed habitual patterns of behavior being handed down from generation to generation which sets the tone and pattern for their very own future relationships. I've seen broken people raise kids and their children subject to many partners revolving in and out of their lives. They grow up thinking the opposite sex is expendable, father figures are nothing more than men coming round or woman coming around from time to time, and they have a low view of themselves cherishing their bodies little or even not at all.

 

Was glad to come to the page about your prior military service. I too am a Vet and I can relate to a diverse crowd being subject to each others company. I was curious about your thoughts about having a co ed barracks? And your thoughts about having women serve with men in combat? But that's another topic. Thus far my thoughts I once had in 20/20 hindsight of my life prior to Christ came to memory. Why would anyone get close to a woman that is not loyal? At least for me, in the past, after a divorce, I looked back and thought this woman cared nothing about loyalty or the marriage covenant so why did I expect her to be loyal to me and to our covenant under God?

 

At the closing of chapter 1 and your friend girl departing I was reminded of the woman at the well that went from relationship to relationship not even knowing she herself had a God sized void that could not be filled by other relationships. The same probably could be said about you at that time, or at least for me this was very true.

 

Anyways, I'll refrain from sharing anything else until I get further into the book. I have ran into a couple editing errors the most pronounced was suggesting that the woman was head over hills rather than heels for you :)

 

God bless,

William

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Lol, i know. The book has editing errors. I know i'm not excellent at writing, so I wanted the reader to feel the weight of the journey I had with God more than anything else. If they can feel the glory in it, then they will forgive my poor writing skills.

But I'm impress with your comments. I don't think most people are aware of the law of heredity, even though it's very active all around us. And I know you're going to relate to what I'm saying because you've been in the military and seen that lifestyle. And also beause the experience is very real, so anyone who've dealt with real things will relate.

 

*I saw thrones and they sat upon them.

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I don't think most people are aware of the law of heredity, even though it's very active all around us.

 

I do not think a lot of people understand the implications of their actions.

 

Some interesting topics on the subject matter:

 

https://www.christforums.org/forum/christian-community/bible-study/old-testament/23970-how-god-visits-sins-on-the-third-and-fourth-generation

https://www.christforums.org/forum/christian-community/bible-study/old-testament/11252-deuteronomy-23-2

 

I plan to read at least another chapter by tomorrow. Looking forward to more!

 

God bless,

William

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