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Jeff Sessions Wakes Up Next To Severed Horse Head

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Rising from slumber Friday morning, Attorney General Jeff Sessions noticed blood drenching his bed sheets, and peeled back his bed covers to reveal a freshly severed horse head resting near his feet, inside sources confirmed. “Scaramucci did this!” Sessions reportedly called out in between screams after discovering the ghastly sight. “The Mooch wants me […]

 

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