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Andy Jeebs

Is it me, or does the church seems to be a bit unwelcoming?

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My story is a bit all over the place. I was raised as a JW and stopped attending in 2012. I was very negative and a bit of a conspiracy guru.

 

in 2014 I asked Jesus to be my God and saviour.

 

I lived at home still but slowly starting attending diffrent Baptist Churches in my area. I live in BC Canada which I did already know is not a very strong Christian area.

 

I started listening to modern Christian music and it gave me much faith.

 

I found the churches to be casual, which was nice. people would say hello, give their name, and church pamphlet.

 

I went to every Baptist church in ny town. I wanted fo get baptized but found it hard to make it happen. eventually a pastor tried to set it up, but i moved to another city a few hours away.

 

my faith drifted and i made some dumb mistakes. however i was baptized in October 2015.

 

I have gone to 2 churches in my city and now attend one fairly regularly.

i have been in a young adults group which is starting to build some friendships but very slow.

 

I would say people are friendly and greet you but it seems you are quickly forgotten.

 

Talking to someone with a church role always seems to mean standing and waiting awkwardly until they finnish thier conversation, which can take a while,

 

being a single guy (im 27) it seems like people just want to avoid me, or even seem like they think im strange or something.

 

i know life is busy and sucks but it seems like getting to know anyone or be heard is nearly impossible.

 

one pastor even said that we can be as "involved as we want to be" , but if noone is really engaging you what can you do?

 

i know life Is super busy and stinks sometimes but it feels like church is pretty momentary escpecially for people like me trying to rebuild my life.

 

i did not have the life most have had, and im pretty broken. it seems harder when no one seems to care or understand

 

i also feel nervous to say what i really need prayers for since its so such a big topic. i am very broken and have lots of regrets.

 

The Lord is faithful though. just wonder about the people some times

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Hi Andy,

 

Just dropping in to say hello! Welcome to CF.org.

 

Hang in there brother, making new friends and cracking "inner circles" can be difficult. It shouldn't be, but they exists. Seems like you're doing what anyone else would do. Be persistent in speaking to an elder and sharing your reservations and obstacles. Perhaps this is something others in your congregation are dealing with too? You may also want to volunteer for something in the church, perhaps they are in need and this may be a good way to familiarize yourself with others?

 

God bless,

William

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Get involved to be involved. You will meet like minded folks and make friends. Then remember the new comers and be a welcomer. ;)

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"...getting to know anyone or be heard is nearly impossible."

 

 

I feel the same way.

 

I always gravitated towards people who are unusual or a bit odd. They seemed more genuine.

 

The Christian life can be a lonely life with others but use it as time to walk/commune with the Lord.

 

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I had much the same experience back in Georgia. Things have been rough, and I can't afford gas to attend church lately. I hope you have enough trust in the Lord to hang in there until something clicks. Meanwhile, a good online forum like this can be a great place to meet good people, ask questions and hang out.

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It depends on the church. Unfortunately many church congregations have their own little social cliques, as inevitably crops up when any large number of people is in the same space, it seems. We should strive to not be that way, especially in a house of God where we're all there for (one hopes) the same reason, but it happens. Online forums can be great places to network and find likeminded people.

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Hang in there bro. I'm visiting too. We have visited a place for a few months now but have not really got connected so I'm praying about it but it's probably time to move on

 

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I was very involved in a Baptist Church for most of my young adulthood, and I think it is church in general that can be hard to get in the perverbial door. Churches are welcoming places and invite everyone in to praise God, bit just like other groups in life, it can be hard to work your way into a social group within the church.

 

I do not think the Baptist Church itself is the problem because Christians want to be around other Christians, and church is more casual than it was half a century ago. It seems to me that Baptists are even more casual than other Christian groups, just from personal experience going to several different Christian churches in my life.

 

As you attend church, you start to make friends with people and it is sometimes hard to let new people into your established group. Just like when you were in grade school. Keep working at it and eventually you will meet lasting friends.

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It's good to hear from this thread of conversation that I'm not the only one feeling frustration trying to feel connected to a church. I'm in my upper 60's and have experienced a lot of 'stuff'. I was in a tiny church for a while feeling a 'home' atmosphere, but after a while felt it stifling. People were content to be small Not growing. I emailed the church I'd been going to years earlier in that same area and started there the 1st Sunday of January. A good way to start a new year in a growing church. But they had changed from 'traditional hymn' singing to strictly "Praise and worship" music. No more choir and no more organ. That was a challenge for me.

 

Yes, churches Have become more relaxed / casual. I've experienced most everything that has been shared so far. And I Have become a 'Welcomer" and that Does help. It's one Sunday morning a month. And I'm in a S. S. class. Getting connected That way is even challenging. There Seems to be a core group in the class, but even They come and go. I was just getting to know a couple of ladies and they haven't been back for a few weeks. (and, yes, I practice good hygiene) Seems that people are okay as acquaintances, but hesitate to get closer. Our church is in process of relocation in a different part of town. So people are in and out 'out of curiosity'. We also have a lot of classes and people are in one for a while and then another , to find a good 'fit'. So a person wonders what a 'good fit' Feels like.

 

What are 'we' really looking For in 'church'. Are we there to be fed spiritually? To make friends? To get involved in the church activities? All of the 'above'? Or that we've always gone to a certain denomination regardless because that's where our parents were?

 

And churches definitely have their groups. Cliques.

 

And, yes, 'everyone' is 'busy'. Are 'we' simply busy being busy? What is our business accomplishing.

 

Being in a mobile society has it's drawbacks. Lack Of connectedness.

 

So -- we connect on our international Forums. Like this one. And someday -- we'll get to know each other in heaven.

 

It Is encouraging to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

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It seems you want to get involved but you are probably putting the burden on others instead of you mostly making the effort to. You could get up and try to be more involved instead of watching and waiting for things to happen. Too much of a laid-back approach won't get you where you may want to be.

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I'm more of a 'natural-born, laid back person'. And with moving around a lot -- it's been hard To get involved. You kind of sound like my former counselor :)

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Sue, I really love what you said about trying to make it with a church. What you describe reflects my experience on a lot of levels. One thing I did discover is that when you can't connect with a church, it can make you really connect with the Lord, since there's nowhere else to turn. I also wonder if you are quite right in wondering if many people are "busy being busy". It never ceases to amaze me, for example, how many people are out shopping on a weekday afternoon. I think a lot of people are trying to fill their emptiness with busyness...

 

It isn't always easy to get to know people. Perseverance is a trait that is largely vanishing in our push-button culture, along with community. Oddly enough, a lot of people lament the lack of community, yet they seem hesitant to get to know others. Another thing I have noticed is that there is a lot of self doubt and self criticism among people in general. It's almost as if they're afraid that if someone else does something well that anything they tried to do doesn't count. Maybe that comes from watching too much sports on TV etc where there can be only one winner...

 

Kindness and encouragement are becoming lost arts, and society is suffering for that.

 

Finally, I found what explorerx7 said to be rather uninformed. Lonely people try very hard to fit in groups, but those who have achieved acceptance seem afraid to let the stranger in for fear of being pushed back out of the group. Love is a dying art...

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Hi Meg -- And I really like what You've shared. :)

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You kind of sound like my former counselor :)

 

Or a fortune cookie :rolleyes:

 

God bless,

William

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Hi Meg -- And I really like what You've shared. :)

 

Thanks :-)

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I'm more of a 'natural-born, laid back person'. And with moving around a lot -- it's been hard To get involved. You kind of sound like my former counselor :)

 

I'm quite the same actually, i would rather stay laid back and just watch, rather than contribute and get involved in any way, which bothers sometimes but i can't seem to fight it off.

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My story is a bit all over the place. I was raised as a JW and stopped attending in 2012. I was very negative and a bit of a conspiracy guru.

 

in 2014 I asked Jesus to be my God and saviour.

 

I lived at home still but slowly starting attending diffrent Baptist Churches in my area. I live in BC Canada which I did already know is not a very strong Christian area.

 

I started listening to modern Christian music and it gave me much faith.

 

I found the churches to be casual, which was nice. people would say hello, give their name, and church pamphlet.

 

I went to every Baptist church in ny town. I wanted fo get baptized but found it hard to make it happen. eventually a pastor tried to set it up, but i moved to another city a few hours away.

 

my faith drifted and i made some dumb mistakes. however i was baptized in October 2015.

 

I have gone to 2 churches in my city and now attend one fairly regularly.

i have been in a young adults group which is starting to build some friendships but very slow.

 

I would say people are friendly and greet you but it seems you are quickly forgotten.

 

Talking to someone with a church role always seems to mean standing and waiting awkwardly until they finnish thier conversation, which can take a while,

 

being a single guy (im 27) it seems like people just want to avoid me, or even seem like they think im strange or something.

 

i know life is busy and sucks but it seems like getting to know anyone or be heard is nearly impossible.

 

one pastor even said that we can be as "involved as we want to be" , but if noone is really engaging you what can you do?

 

i know life Is super busy and stinks sometimes but it feels like church is pretty momentary escpecially for people like me trying to rebuild my life.

 

i did not have the life most have had, and im pretty broken. it seems harder when no one seems to care or understand

 

i also feel nervous to say what i really need prayers for since its so such a big topic. i am very broken and have lots of regrets.

 

The Lord is faithful though. just wonder about the people some times

 

Trust in the Lord instead of people who ignore you. This world and all it's inhabitants are of Satan, the false prophet, and it won't be long from now that the false prophet and the beast will be destroyed on the day of the Lord. Then all God's created men will enjoy life without those deceiving thoughts and images.

 

Revelation 19

20: And the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet who in its presence had worked the signs by which he deceived those who had received the mark of the beast and those who worshiped its image. These two were thrown alive into the lake of fire that burns with sulphur.

 

Here's a few promises from our Lord that you can keep thinking of while the cruel world is deceiving you.

 

Jeremiah 31

33: But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it upon their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

34: And no longer shall each man teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, `Know the LORD,' for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the LORD; for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more."

 

Revelation 21

1: Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.

2: And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband;

3: and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them;

4: he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away."

5: And he who sat upon the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." Also he said, "Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true."

 

Isaiah 65

16: So that he who blesses himself in the land shall bless himself by the God of truth, and he who takes an oath in the land shall swear by the God of truth; because the former troubles are forgotten and are hid from my eyes.

17: "For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; and the former things shall not be remembered or come into mind.

18: But be glad and rejoice for ever in that which I create; for behold, I create Jerusalem a rejoicing, and her people a joy.

19: I will rejoice in Jerusalem, and be glad in my people; no more shall be heard in it the sound of weeping and the cry of distress.

 

You will also hear the voice of God after you experience the death of your flesh;

 

John 5:

25: "Truly, truly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live.

26: For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself,

27: and has given him authority to execute judgment, because he is the Son of man.

28: Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear his voice.

 

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Your first comment is saying that this world and all of it's inhabitants are of satan, the false prophet. You are part of this world --so you're using pretty strong language about yourself as well.

 

All the Scriptures that you've shared Are going to happen in the future. There's a lot of activity Before satan, beast and false prophet are caste into the lake of fire. Christ will take the Church out of the world at some point in the future. It seems to be obvious that That will come sooner rather than later. But no one knows when except the Father.

 

You're exhibiting a very negative view of this world. Then again -- depending on where in this world a person lives Could determine a person's attitude Towards.

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This world is possibly as welcoming as a person in it is. It's a Good thing to get together with people who believe the same way we do. To encourage one another in the Lord.

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Your first comment is saying that this world and all of it's inhabitants are of satan, the false prophet. You are part of this world --so you're using pretty strong language about yourself as well.

 

All the Scriptures that you've shared Are going to happen in the future. There's a lot of activity Before satan, beast and false prophet are caste into the lake of fire. Christ will take the Church out of the world at some point in the future. It seems to be obvious that That will come sooner rather than later. But no one knows when except the Father.

 

You're exhibiting a very negative view of this world. Then again -- depending on where in this world a person lives Could determine a person's attitude Towards.

 

The day of the Lord is very close now that the gospel of God is no longer necessary to be witnessed to reveal the source of life.

 

Matthew 24

14: And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, as a testimony to all nations; and then the end will come.

 

The inhabitants of the world born of Satan do not understand those of us in God who preach the gospel to the chosen ones.

 

1 John 4

4: Little children, you are of God, and have overcome them; for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

5: They are of the world, therefore what they say is of the world, and the world listens to them.

6: We are of God. Whoever knows God listens to us, and he who is not of God does not listen to us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.

 

 

II Thesalonians 2:

13: But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God chose you from the beginning to be saved, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth.

14: To this he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

 

 

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This world is possibly as welcoming as a person in it is. It's a Good thing to get together with people who believe the same way we do. To encourage one another in the Lord.

 

It's better to listen to the gospel of God and find out if you're a chosen believer or not. Just because you belong to a group doesn't mean that the whole group will believe in the gospel of God preached to them by a trusted servant. All the servants learned the the word ( gospel ) of God will divide families because some were chosen to believe and others were blinded from the truth.

 

Matthew 10:

32: So every one who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven;

33: but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.

34: "Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.

35: For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;

36: and a man's foes will be those of his own household.

37: He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;

 

Romans 11:

3: "Lord, they have killed thy prophets, they have demolished thy altars, and I alone am left, and they seek my life."

4: But what is God's reply to him? "I have kept for myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the knee to Ba'al."

5: So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace.

6: But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.

7: What then? Israel failed to obtain what it sought. The elect obtained it, but the rest were hardened,

8: as it is written, "God gave them a spirit of stupor, eyes that should not see and ears that should not hear, down to this very day."

 

If you're one of the elect, then you will know the voice ( gospel ) of God and believe the knowledge of Christ that comes from those words. God didn't choose groups of people to believe in His word, He chose individuals to listen to His gospel and believe the words are coming from Him.

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When a person is being convicted by the Holy Spirit, they know it and will eventually respond to Jesus Christ in a positive way. You make it sound like a person can listen to the Gospel and find out if your chosen to be a believer. The leader of a group that are meeting together -- teaches God's Word -- as the Holy Spirit moves -- people respond. People grow spiritually through reading and listening / sharing with others. And, yes, the Gospel has been known to divide families. But it's also been known to unite a family in Christ. It's been known to split up married couples. Two who haven't been saved --one does accept Christ and the other one isn't interested and leaves.

 

God is the only one who knows who will accept and who will reject.

 

I said No to the conviction of the Holy Spirit for a while and finally Did accept Him.

 

And what happens to a person who feels that they Haven't been a chosen one. I suspect that the person who is knowledgable about being chosen or not -- -- likes to debate the subject. But we're dealing with a person's eternal life.

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When a person is being convicted by the Holy Spirit, they know it and will eventually respond to Jesus Christ in a positive way. You make it sound like a person can listen to the Gospel and find out if your chosen to be a believer. The leader of a group that are meeting together -- teaches God's Word -- as the Holy Spirit moves -- people respond. People grow spiritually through reading and listening / sharing with others. And, yes, the Gospel has been known to divide families. But it's also been known to unite a family in Christ. It's been known to split up married couples. Two who haven't been saved --one does accept Christ and the other one isn't interested and leaves.

 

God is the only one who knows who will accept and who will reject.

 

I said No to the conviction of the Holy Spirit for a while and finally Did accept Him.

 

And what happens to a person who feels that they Haven't been a chosen one. I suspect that the person who is knowledgable about being chosen or not -- -- likes to debate the subject. But we're dealing with a person's eternal life.

 

You don't have to worry about whether or not someone is a chosen believer. That's only for this temporary generation that God chose servants and believers for His purpose to reveal the hidden knowledge called Christ. Now that we know what Christ means and what the tree of life is, we wait for the day of the Lord in which everything will change in the blink of an eye. Then all God's men created in his image will hear his voice as promised.

 

John 5:

25: "Truly, truly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live.

26: For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself,

27: and has given him authority to execute judgment, because he is the Son of man.

28: Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear his voice.

 

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You don't have to worry about whether or not someone is a chosen believer. That's only for this temporary generation that God chose servants and believers for His purpose to reveal the hidden knowledge called Christ.
"The hidden knowledge called Christ." Sounds like a modern day Gnosticism.
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"The hidden knowledge called Christ." Sounds like a modern day Gnosticism.

 

Thought the exact same thing.

 

God bless,

William

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