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Sparky

What is your opinion about Foul mouthed Christians?

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I have a friend who regularly goes to church and even helps with church activities. He also prays regularly and he is nice to his family members. He is a hard worker too so I can say he is nice guy. Here is one problem though. He curses like a sailor. Usually people only curses when they got triggered by anger but he curses even if he is happy. He just can't help saying the f-bomb and s-bomb. He uses growing up with uneducated parents as an excuse for it.

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Jesus said, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." He might be saved but he needs to stop blaming his parents for his failure and attempt to control his tongue.

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"Uneducated parents'' are not his problem,. A person's educational level isn't the problem. Some people equate being an adult with using 'adult' language -- cussing. I'm surprised that no one at church has taken him aside and had a conversation with him Regarding his foul language. Apparently he has enough control of his 'tongue' to speak nicely when he needs to. But he is setting a Bad example of what a Christian guy Should sound like. Since you say that you're a friend of his -- Be a friend by sharing that with him. :)

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I have a friend who regularly goes to church and even helps with church activities. He also prays regularly and he is nice to his family members. He is a hard worker too so I can say he is nice guy. Here is one problem though. He curses like a sailor. Usually people only curses when they got triggered by anger but he curses even if he is happy. He just can't help saying the f-bomb and s-bomb. He uses growing up with uneducated parents as an excuse for it.

 

Hi Sparky, it's interesting that he makes excuses for it (I'm assuming that he doesn't use the Lord's name as a cuss word, right?).

 

I had little problem using that kind of language until the day I became a Christian, and on that day it stopped. I remember one brother in my church about 20 years ago, he was very intelligent and educated (he was a pediatrician, actually), but he would occasionally use "S" and "F" and "D" in a church of 2,000+ where no one else ever did, so it was always a little shocking to hear. He never used "GD" or "JC", but he didn't seem to have much of a problem with the rest of it. I should have said something, or at least asked him why he used cuss words, but I never did (nor did anyone else unfortunately, probably because he didn't use that kind of speech regularly).

 

Here's the "test" I like to apply to my speech. If what you say can pass this test, you should always be good to go :)

Ephesians 4

29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.

 

Likewise there is this as well:

Ephesians 5

3 Do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints;

4 and
t
here must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

 

These verses from Ephesians are helpful instruction/reminders about how we, as Christians, are supposed to live (as imitators of God rather than the world).

 

V5 of Ephesians 5 warns us that such behavior/speech is an indication of the kind of heart that's behind it, which is why it is shocking for us to hear such things in the company of saints (notice again the Lord's words from Matthew 12:34 in Theo's quote above, words which, BTW, immediately follow the Lord's teaching concerning the unpardonable sin).

 

How often does your friend pepper what he says with these kinds of words?

 

Yours and His,

David

Colossians 3

5 Put to death whatever in your nature belongs to the earth: sexual immorality, impurity, shameful passion, evil desire, and greed which is idolatry.

6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience.

7 You also lived your lives in this way at one time, when you used to live among them.

8 But now,
put off all such things as anger, rage, malice, slander, abusive language from your mouth.

9 Do not lie to one another since you have put off the old man with its practices

10 and have been clothed with the new man that is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of the one who created it.

 

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BTW, in answer to your original question, what is your opinion of foul-mouthed Christians, my answer is, "they may not be Christians"! [h=1][/h]

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"Uneducated parents'' are not his problem,. A person's educational level isn't the problem. Some people equate being an adult with using 'adult' language -- cussing. I'm surprised that no one at church has taken him aside and had a conversation with him Regarding his foul language. Apparently he has enough control of his 'tongue' to speak nicely when he needs to. But he is setting a Bad example of what a Christian guy Should sound like. Since you say that you're a friend of his -- Be a friend by sharing that with him. :)

 

Many people actually tried to change him. He just refuse to change about it. His excuse is that he is not using God's name on his curses. He said that he is this way since childhood and he don't want to change. He thinks he is just being true to himself and trying to not cuss will make him a faker. He thinks he will be lying to his self if he will try to talk in a classy way.

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So -- as long as he's not using God's name in a vulgar way, then he's okay?

 

But using 's' or 'fu' is okay because he feels that That is who is really is. He's simply being 'himself'. Well, if he's truly a Christian, then life isn't simply about him being 'true to himself'. He Should be striving to be more like Christ. Maybe you Could ask him if he thinks that Jesus Christ would be using those words in His conversation. Ask him if he hears Other Christians using that kind of language? And if he'd want other Christian men to follow his example. Does he understand what it's Supposed to mean to Be a new creation / creature in Christ. The Holy Spirit is the One who's going to change inside -- but there 's no harm in challenging him a bit more. And continue praying for him and to show him, by example.

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He said that he is this way since childhood and he don't want to change.

Being a Christian is all about being changed so we are more like Christ. A real Christian would want to be changed in this way.

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I love them. Of course I wish they would stop, but at least they are a christian--that's a start.

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Well, it's something we can't change in people, it's entirely up to them to change. Once you're a christian God will help you learn, but you need to work on improving the things you once did that are wrong. We're all human and make mistakes, but it's up to us to correct them and learn. It's certainly something he needs to change, I feel like you can't bless someone then curse others with your words. Then again, it's something that he needs to change himself.

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@Sparky. He is disgusting. Don't let him attend services if he refuses to change his "speech."

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@Sparky. He is disgusting. Don't let him attend services if he refuses to change his "speech."

 

Only the pastor would be able to do that but everyone are actually fond at him and thinks he is a good guy. He does volunteer a lot. He is someone you can consider as a nice person. The only problem with him is his mouth. His mouth really needed to be washed with soap. I wish he will change because that is his biggest flaw. I am irritated by his vocabulary but everyone likes him. He is always active in Church activities despite of the way he talks. He is a convert so that might be a reason why is he like that too.

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I'm a newbie, and I'm reeling after reading this thread... What on earth can justify rejecting a decent, caring person just because they use profanity??? Even IF it's a sin, which I don't know that I believe at all...I'm inclined to think not, considering the extreme, reactive way so many people here are speaking (i.e., this sounds like cultic, not truly religious, thinking - "the disturbed ranting of false religion" as one of the Apostles put it)... But even if it IS a sin, surely it's not the kind justifying wholesale rejection of the sinner.

 

I mean, gossiping is a sin, too, or for that matter, "judging by appearances." Who on earth hasn't been guilty of those things? Kicking him out of church??? "He is disgusting," not just "that's disgusting"? He, as a person, is to be completely rejected because of (at worst) simple folly?

 

On the contrary - I don't think anyone can be a Christian who so lacks love! I don't think it's possible to know the true God, even distantly, and to have such a hard heart. Or such a mixed-up mind.

 

I hope the rest of this forum isn't like this. I can completely sympathize with so many people I come across being afraid/horrified/baffled by Christians in light of this kind of extreme attitude. It sounds more like what I'd expect from a Sharia-loving sheik! Or a Pharisee, maybe.

 

Gee whiz...

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I'm a newbie, and I'm reeling after reading this thread... What on earth can justify rejecting a decent, caring person just because they use profanity??? Even IF it's a sin, which I don't know that I believe at all...I'm inclined to think not, considering the extreme, reactive way so many people here are speaking (i.e., this sounds like cultic, not truly religious, thinking - "the disturbed ranting of false religion" as one of the Apostles put it)... But even if it IS a sin, surely it's not the kind justifying wholesale rejection of the sinner.

 

I mean, gossiping is a sin, too, or for that matter, "judging by appearances." Who on earth hasn't been guilty of those things? Kicking him out of church??? "He is disgusting," not just "that's disgusting"? He, as a person, is to be completely rejected because of (at worst) simple folly?

 

On the contrary - I don't think anyone can be a Christian who so lacks love! I don't think it's possible to know the true God, even distantly, and to have such a hard heart. Or such a mixed-up mind.

 

I hope the rest of this forum isn't like this. I can completely sympathize with so many people I come across being afraid/horrified/baffled by Christians in light of this kind of extreme attitude. It sounds more like what I'd expect from a Sharia-loving sheik! Or a Pharisee, maybe.

 

Gee whiz...

 

 

 

So, you feel that profanity is okay for a Christian to use?

 

That the reaction from the other posters is Extreme? That We are showing a hard heart?

 

Oh, my -- "Gee whiz" as you put it.

 

From your reaction -- I suspect that you, too, use profanity. It Can be a hard habit to break. For believers -- we are to do that which brings glory to God -- our language is to reflect Christ living within us. The book of James talks about the tongue.

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Frankly, I agree with Daughter of God. The issue is one of renewing the mind and discipleship. From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Garbage in is garbage out. If he watches a lot of television he is hearing profanity. He may also be in a work environment that exposes him to constant potty mouth. But that does not mean he is not a brother, nor should he be cast out of fellowship. We are not to control others nor does the Holy Spirit control us. We are to be examples and let the process of discipleship continue over time as he sees for himself that his potty mouth is closing doors on him. The love of Christ also takes time. As he sees how it offends others as the love of Christ grows in him he will curtail his tongue. To say he is not saved is judgmental and condemning. To kick him out of fellowship is a slippery slope. If you can kick him out for profanity, then gossipers and other reasons will be used to bring the congregation down to us four and no more. What do you do? Let him know that you are bothered by his potty mouth. Just tell him. Let him know you appreciate him but not the profanity.

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What on earth can justify rejecting a decent, caring person just because they use profanity???

 

The Bible says a lot about how Christians are to talk. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Can someone obey that command and still use profanity?

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Sanctification is a process but there be something to show for it. Cussing all the time like that sounds like more of an attitude problem and not just a habit espeicaly if he thinks it's fine.

 

​​​He should definitely be rebuked because his behavior will make your church look bad and it will make him look like a fool if he tries telling people about Christ when he's a potty mouth.

 

Edited by Innerfire89
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Many people actually tried to change him. He just refuse to change about it. His excuse is that he is not using God's name on his curses. He said that he is this way since childhood and he don't want to change. He thinks he is just being true to himself and trying to not cuss will make him a faker. He thinks he will be lying to his self if he will try to talk in a classy way.

 

His excuse is just silly. All sinners can say the same thing, what he is refusing is to repent and let Christ work within him.

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His excuse is just silly. All sinners can say the same thing, what he is refusing is to repent and let Christ work within him.

 

I would not diminish his answer as being "just silly". I am not agreement with his profanity, but I do believe we need more brothers who are transparently honest than putting on a Christian mask around other believers. And I suspect he has that as a genuine motivation. I say this because I live transparently honest, too. That does not mean I lack wisdom and discretion. It means I let my warts be seen so others will be encouraged to live honestly.

 

I think too few of us take the words of Paul seriously:

 

Rom_14:4 Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

 

God is working in his life. But as I said before, for all who are offended, speak up and let him know his potty mouth offends him. God works through his body.

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I agree that a short conversation about it with him is best. It took me a while to clean up my own language.

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I would not diminish his answer as being "just silly". I am not agreement with his profanity, but I do believe we need more brothers who are transparently honest than putting on a Christian mask around other believers. And I suspect he has that as a genuine motivation. I say this because I live transparently honest, too. That does not mean I lack wisdom and discretion. It means I let my warts be seen so others will be encouraged to live honestly.

 

I think too few of us take the words of Paul seriously:

 

Rom_14:4 Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

 

God is working in his life. But as I said before, for all who are offended, speak up and let him know his potty mouth offends him. God works through his body.

 

Of course we should be honest and not hide who we really are. But he is using a poor excuse and doesn't want to change.

 

In context Romans 14:4 is telling us not to condem brethren for trivial things, like eating or not eating pork. We are supposed to judge or discern, if the guy doesn't want to change from sinning he then he doesn't want to obey God, I find it hard to believe he is Christian and think he really hasn't been born again.

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Of course we should be honest and not hide who we really are. But he is using a poor excuse and doesn't want to change.

 

In context Romans 14:4 is telling us not to condem brethren for trivial things, like eating or not eating pork. We are supposed to judge or discern, if the guy doesn't want to change from sinning he then he doesn't want to obey God, I find it hard to believe he is Christian and think he really hasn't been born again.

 

So you know this man personally? And how do you know the motives of his heart? Has God told? I am not saying this lightly because God can tell us in Word of Knowledge. Do you have a Word of Knowledge on him? Perhaps you are right and he is not born again. I don't know that. Do you? If he is not, then the Gospel needs to be shared with him.

 

And you are the judge of what is trivial and what is sin? To me, a foul mouth is trivial. Adultery is sin.

 

 

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James 3:9-12 summarizes the issue:

  • With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs?

Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? Cursing language is something that not only demonstrates a double tongue but also what springs forth from the heart - testimony contrary to our new nature.

  • Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Pretty much states that using filthy language is a sin.

 

And in my opinion you should first approach the person yourself with a witness. If this is occurring in church then you should approach the elders.

 

On another note, this forum does not tolerate filthy language. Children of 13 years of age are members here. Likewise, we are not free to slander or bear false witness, lie and cuss, as Christians we are expected to have a bridled tongue.

 

God bless,

William

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So you know this man personally? And how do you know the motives of his heart? Has God told? I am not saying this lightly because God can tell us in Word of Knowledge. Do you have a Word of Knowledge on him? Perhaps you are right and he is not born again. I don't know that. Do you? If he is not, then the Gospel needs to be shared with him.

 

And you are the judge of what is trivial and what is sin? To me, a foul mouth is trivial. Adultery is sin.

 

 

We DO know the situation through the original poster #1.

 

A person''s 'heart' is observed through his actions/ speech. By their fruits we will know them. Galatians 5:22 and 23 --self-control is one of them. control of our speech / tongue. A foul mouth can be abusive, lying, hurtful, critical, cutting the other person to their core.

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So you know this man personally? And how do you know the motives of his heart? Has God told? I am not saying this lightly because God can tell us in Word of Knowledge. Do you have a Word of Knowledge on him? Perhaps you are right and he is not born again. I don't know that. Do you? If he is not, then the Gospel needs to be shared with him.

 

And you are the judge of what is trivial and what is sin? To me, a foul mouth is trivial. Adultery is sin.

 

 

It's important that you review Romans 14 again. Romans 14 is telling us that eating certain meats and holding certain days as special is trivial.

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