Jump to content

The Protestant Community

Welcome to Christforums the Protestant Community. You'll need to register in order to post your comments on your favorite topics and subjects. You'll also enjoy sharing media across multiple platforms. We hope you enjoy your fellowship here! God bless, Christforums' Staff
Register now

Christforums

Christforums is a Protestant Christian forum, open to Bible- believing Christians such as Presbyterians, Lutherans, Reformed, Baptists, Church of Christ members, Pentecostals, Anglicans. Methodists, Charismatics, or any other conservative, Nicene- derived Christian Church. We do not solicit cultists of any kind, including Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Eastern Lightning, Falun Gong, Unification Church, Aum Shinrikyo, Christian Scientists or any other non- Nicene, non- Biblical heresy. God bless, Christforums' Staff
Register now
Sign in to follow this  
jahanzeb ali qureshi

How a single should spend his life if he cant marry right now?

Recommended Posts

A friend of mine is suffering from a feeling that he wants someone special in his life. He wants a girlfriends.I think it is natural to feel the need of it. He is not in the condition of marrying someone. How he should live his life if he is now or never be able to marry due to financial problem?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Jahanzeb, since the Bible doesn't forbid having "someone special" in your life before you're married, I'm not sure I understand your question, unless by "wanting" a girlfriend, you mean that your friend wants to have sex before he's married (which is not ok).

 

A single person needs to remain celibate until they're married if their desire is to obey/please/honor/glorify God.

 

Yours and His,

David

1 Thessalonians 4

3
This is the will of God
, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;

4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,

5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God.

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mr.David Lee thanks for informing us about the way that God showed us to face every trouble in life. I agree to this point that a person should spend his life with patience and in a noble way. He should control his sexual fantasies until he gets married. He should stay in a limit if he is in relation with someone.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was "single", I slowly learned that my desire for marriage... for a woman, actually became Idolatry. I desired her more than I did Christ.

 

While it is natural to desire to be married, I needed to do some self-examination before I began to pursue a woman.

 

I also came to realize the painful way that "It is better to be single and wish to be married than married wishing to be single!"

image_1375.jpg.5996628a4b48859ac737e31e4318ac9a.jpg

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with reformed that it is better to stay single because you can't be single again if you are married once. It is natural to feel the need of a woman. I think it is a need of a normal man. There is nothing to surprise about it. We should ask ourselves that can we fulfill all the needs of a family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I agree with reformed that it is better to stay single because you can't be single again if you are married once. It is natural to feel the need of a woman. I think it is a need of a normal man. There is nothing to surprise about it. We should ask ourselves that can we fulfill all the needs of a family.

 

1 Corinthians 7: Principles for Marriage

 

7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

 

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.[a]7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

 

8To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

 

10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

 

12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you[b] to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

 

God bless,

William

 

 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am really thankful to William for guidelines. I agree with you that a single person should control his sexual desire and if he cannot then he should get married. It good to get married rather than burning in the sexual passion. If a person is not in a condition to marry then he should control his feelings until he is in the position.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
A friend of mine is suffering from a feeling that he wants someone special in his life. He wants a girlfriends.I think it is natural to feel the need of it. He is not in the condition of marrying someone. How he should live his life if he is now or never be able to marry due to financial problem?

 

Its very hard, my friend.

 

I am nearly 50 and am still single and as i believe that sex is only an option after marraige, you can draw your own logical conclusions.

 

Paul was single, but i dont think he burned with lust. He said if you cannot control yourself, marry.

 

The simple answer is PRAYER.

 

God will send you who HE wants you to have, if anyone.

 

Rather than ask "Please give me someone" all the time, how about saying "Thank you Lord, please help me to accept YOUR will in my life"?

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A single person should go to his or he normal work for instance if he is a teacher he should teach his student then during his or her free time he should do voluntary jobs related to his work. If he does no have profession then he should look for other voluntary jobs especially those which help to preserve environment. A single person can also help to spread the word of good this is so important for it help in spread the word of God.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Part of #1 post included financial problems. Personal finances are important to have control of. Take care of credit card debts -- don't have credit cards. Live within your financial means. A person will have 'x' number of dollars available per week or month. Live within That amount. Most people have rent / house payments / car or some way for getting to a job or where ever. Live Within your income. Learn to do That Before getting attached to someone else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Part of #1 post included financial problems. Personal finances are important to have control of. Take care of credit card debts -- don't have credit cards. Live within your financial means. A person will have 'x' number of dollars available per week or month. Live within That amount. Most people have rent / house payments / car or some way for getting to a job or where ever. Live Within your income. Learn to do That Before getting attached to someone else.

 

It is a good idea to live within your circumstances rather than ignoring your economical condition. Living a simple life is better than living a luxurious life that would a cause of being worried in the future.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A person doesn't especially have to live a simple life -- simply have a good money-management system for whatever income level you're in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
don't have credit cards.

 

Can you, or anyone else, explain how to do this [don't have credit cards] in today's society?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I'm trying at the moment to zero out my credit card balances and close the accounts. Though I have an excellent credit rating, I'd prefer to only use my debit card. I haven't ran into anyone that rejects a debit card. I can say, closing all my credit card accounts makes me a little nervous, but having a savings account that is equal to at least six months of income makes a credit card unnecessary.

 

God bless,

William

 

Living debt-free an excellent goal, as is having six months income as an emergency fund. Changing one's financial orientation from credit card to debit card is a real challenge though. I don't see the market place as accommodating to debit cards. I suppose it depends on where and on what one spends.

 

My apologies to the OP. Wasn't my intention to derail your thread, although it might be tangentially related or helpful...

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

For most online transactions I use PayPal. PayPal, in case you are unfamiliar can pull funds from your bank account to fund your PayPal balance. The reason I like PayPal for online transactions is because of the 6 month guarantee against fraud. I have made a few software purchases where the end product was not as advertised. I filed a claim through PayPal and in all instances the money was refunded back to me.

 

God bless,

William

 

It's always good to have a plan, even one that uses PayPal when that's the only method available. So long as I can use a credit card without fees or costs, that's my payment method of choice when cash is not an option, or when direct pay from checking is not required.

 

That's why my original question to post #10 about "how does one eliminate credit cards" from their purse (or wallet)?

 

By the way, how many people have placed credit freezes on their credit at all three credit bureaus?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Can you, or anyone else, explain how to do this [don't have credit cards] in today's society?

 

 

 

I was raised with a couple of credit cards -- my folks had a Sears and Penny's credit cards -- there were five of us -- double income family -- always had the cards paid off monthly.

 

My husband was raised with 9 kids and divorced parents -- poverty.

 

When he and I got married -- No credit cards -- we had 4 kids. If we didn't have the money, we didn't buy it. I was a stay at home mom. A few times I Did have a job, but didn't last that long. But I also saved change from day one of our marriage. Got that idea from another young couple. Any small change from her husband's pockets went into a savings jar in their house. At one point our VW needed new tires -- we counted the money I'd been saving up in that jar and it was enough to get those tires. That was Many decades ago.

 

Finally my husband Did get a credit card for gas usage Only.

 

How we do this in today's society? Probably depends on where a person lives. You live in California -- apparently more expensive than Texas. My husband believes in debt free living. But a down side to that. A person has no credit rating. When we applied for a short-term loan to get property to build our house, the loan officer had to go clear back in our financial history to when my husband made some payments for a motorcycle in another state. After talking with us for a while, she said she felt led to go out on a limb for us. We were able to buy our property and started working on our house.

 

Because we built our first house -- we'd been paying rent and decided to make the transition into home ownership. The money that Had been going into rent Now went into building supplies. We built the bare minimum to get in and then finished while living in it. Camping out indoors. Vowed I'd Never do That again. We were able to remodel / did a house-flip many years later because we were debt free from the first time.

 

Granted -- what which we did back then - we'd Never be able to do Now. The price for building supplies has at least doubled if not tripled.

 

Ever heard of Dave Ramsey? He was a big name some years back. Had radio / TV call in programs. I'm going to have to Google him and see what's happened to him.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

 

I was raised with a couple of credit cards -- my folks had a Sears and Penny's credit cards -- there were five of us -- double income family -- always had the cards paid off monthly.

 

My husband was raised with 9 kids and divorced parents -- poverty.

 

When he and I got married -- No credit cards -- we had 4 kids. If we didn't have the money, we didn't buy it. I was a stay at home mom. A few times I Did have a job, but didn't last that long. But I also saved change from day one of our marriage. Got that idea from another young couple. Any small change from her husband's pockets went into a savings jar in their house. At one point our VW needed new tires -- we counted the money I'd been saving up in that jar and it was enough to get those tires. That was Many decades ago.

 

Finally my husband Did get a credit card for gas usage Only.

 

How we do this in today's society? Probably depends on where a person lives. You live in California -- apparently more expensive than Texas. My husband believes in debt free living. But a down side to that. A person has no credit rating. When we applied for a short-term loan to get property to build our house, the loan officer had to go clear back in our financial history to when my husband made some payments for a motorcycle in another state. After talking with us for a while, she said she felt led to go out on a limb for us. We were able to buy our property and started working on our house.

 

Because we built our first house -- we'd been paying rent and decided to make the transition into home ownership. The money that Had been going into rent Now went into building supplies. We built the bare minimum to get in and then finished while living in it. Camping out indoors. Vowed I'd Never do That again. We were able to remodel / did a house-flip many years later because we were debt free from the first time.

 

Granted -- what which we did back then - we'd Never be able to do Now. The price for building supplies has at least doubled if not tripled.

 

Ever heard of Dave Ramsey? He was a big name some years back. Had radio / TV call in programs. I'm going to have to Google him and see what's happened to him.

 

I've read a couple Dave Ramsey books and listened to him on the radio for a while. He is an advocate for "cutting up" the credit cards. That might be one specific item in his "debt free" plan that I disagree with--for me personally. I can see how credit cards, in the hands of the unwise, can be disastrous.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I've read a couple Dave Ramsey books and listened to him on the radio for a while. He is an advocate for "cutting up" the credit cards. That might be one specific item in his "debt free" plan that I disagree with--for me personally. I can see how credit cards, in the hands of the unwise, can be disastrous.

 

 

 

A credit card Can be disastrous -- the 'buy Now and pay Later' syndrome. Have a budget and live within it's boundaries. If a person doesn't have the money Now -- what makes them think they've have it Later. Or a person looses a job. Sometimes might it be a 'social status' thing? Whip out that credit card. I write checks and use real money.

 

I Did Google Dave Ramsey yesterday -- he still does exist.

 

I grew up in the atmosphere of paying off credit cards monthly and the person keeps those payments within their monthly budget. You're not owing anyone anything.

 

My husband goes a bit to the extreme -- owe no man anything has meant no car payments or house payments. He's also very good at management -- adjusting funds as needed. One thing that Did help was when my Mother passed away this past January. She lived to be 98. She'd out-lived two husbands. Money management was her 'thing'. They saved and invested wisely over the years -- both husbands did, also. My share of the inheritance was in the upper 5-figures. And we have had some savings of our own. Neither of us spend much money. Mostly store brands and such. He shops around for good deals on vehicles.

 

We Have been doing up-grades in our house. But my husband won't hire out for those jobs -- does it himself with my help or our son's who lives next door. He'd be watching every move the work men made and probably driving them a bit Crazy.

 

My sister and brother -in-law inherited the same amount and decided to redo their bedroom / bath area. They hired it out. Unfortunately they were behind schedule and didn't do some of it per request. They had wanted a sliding door and it wasn't installed properly. My sister had gotten trapped in the bathroom. It was a big room, so she wasn't bothered by a small area. Terry ended up doing a lot of the painting himself.

 

So - money or Not -- we still watch what we're buying. Do we Really need that item?!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

 

A credit card Can be disastrous -- the 'buy Now and pay Later' syndrome. Have a budget and live within it's boundaries. If a person doesn't have the money Now -- what makes them think they've have it Later. Or a person looses a job. Sometimes might it be a 'social status' thing? Whip out that credit card. I write checks and use real money.

 

I Did Google Dave Ramsey yesterday -- he still does exist.

 

I grew up in the atmosphere of paying off credit cards monthly and the person keeps those payments within their monthly budget. You're not owing anyone anything.

 

My husband goes a bit to the extreme -- owe no man anything has meant no car payments or house payments. He's also very good at management -- adjusting funds as needed. One thing that Did help was when my Mother passed away this past January. She lived to be 98. She'd out-lived two husbands. Money management was her 'thing'. They saved and invested wisely over the years -- both husbands did, also. My share of the inheritance was in the upper 5-figures. And we have had some savings of our own. Neither of us spend much money. Mostly store brands and such. He shops around for good deals on vehicles.

 

We Have been doing up-grades in our house. But my husband won't hire out for those jobs -- does it himself with my help or our son's who lives next door. He'd be watching every move the work men made and probably driving them a bit Crazy.

 

My sister and brother -in-law inherited the same amount and decided to redo their bedroom / bath area. They hired it out. Unfortunately they were behind schedule and didn't do some of it per request. They had wanted a sliding door and it wasn't installed properly. My sister had gotten trapped in the bathroom. It was a big room, so she wasn't bothered by a small area. Terry ended up doing a lot of the painting himself.

 

So - money or Not -- we still watch what we're buying. Do we Really need that item?!

 

Dave Ramsey says credit card companies are "expert" at making profit off people who maintain balances, making only minimum monthly payments. He also says that it is much easier to make a purchase when one pays with "plastic" rather than experiencing the agony of taking money our of your purse or wallet, and physically handing it over to someone. Therefore he advises to cut up the cards.

 

He still doesn't address my question of using a credit card as a part of a structured financial plan and budget where they are used essentially as a "pay as you go" but they are "cash flowed" because they are "automatically" paid in full each month...

 

I agree with your "pay as you go" attitude and "living within your means" approach. I agree with frugality too.

 

Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seems that lots of financing is about our personal self-control. How we grew up -- are we a spender or a saver.

 

If a person pays only the minimum required monthly payment , they will be forever in debt. And the companies know that. And that amounts to people taking many things home from stores that never really get paid for. And that amounts to 'theft by plastic'.

 

There Are those who use cash for Everything. That can be dangerous -- that means a person Could be having Lots of money 'in hand'. I use checks most of the time. But my personal comfort zone is $50. tops. Well, my real comfort zone is around $30. My husband goes way higher. And the A+ credit union we're with has a system of notifying a customer when any unusual amounts are being paid. And every so often we do get warnings. There happen to be several men in this state with my husband's initials. It results in problems once in a while.

 

And every once in a while -- the clerk at the check-out line will ask for ID. I show her my licence and sometimes they will even ask for my phone number. If there is anyone close behind me in line - especially a man -- I'll give them my husbands' phone number. That way if some guy thinks he's going to be 'cute' and call, he'll get my husband and not me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have 2 really good friends that have been single for years and years,that are in no rush to have a boyfriend and they are perfectly content in their lives,you can be single and not be in any rush to be in a relationship or marriage.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have 2 really good friends that have been single for years and years,that are in no rush to have a boyfriend and they are perfectly content in their lives,you can be single and not be in any rush to be in a relationship or marriage.

 

 

 

These days Society gives the impression that having a boyfriend /girlfriend is perfectly okay Without marriage. God's Word tells us otherwise. And as an adult - having a girlfriend or boyfriend Generally means there is a sexual activity element included rather than confining the relationship to Friendship. A Lot of problems arise from including sex in a relationship Before or Instead Of marriage.

 

God's Word tells us that sex is to be confined to marriage between a man and a woman. Since God designed marriage, He invented it -- it's best to follow His design.

 

A single person needs to live his/her life honoring God both in private life and public life. As Scripture tells us, there is no place where God is not present. He is the only being who knows all and sees all.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×