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theophilus

Top 10 signs you are in the wrong church

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This list is taken from The Unauthorized Guide to Choosing a Church, by Carmen Renee Berry.

 

10. The church bus has gun racks.

9. The church staff consists of senior pastor, associate pastor, and sociopastor.

8. The Bible they use is the Dr. Seuss version.

7. There is an ATM in the lobby.

6. The choir wears leather robes.

5. The worship services are BYOS (Bring Your Own Snake).

4. There's no cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.

3. The pastor regularly attends meetings in Las Vegas and Atlantic City.

2. The ushers ask, "Smoking or nonsmoking?"

1. The women's quartet are all married to the pastor.

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Hey, number 10 is a must, especially if you live either in an overly rural area, or near a lot of liberals.

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