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My recovery

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    My recovery

    Hi forum..

    I have been absent for a good while.. Mostly due to my life circumstances and my addiction to alcohol which I have been battling with for about 10 years now on and off.. It's certainly a sad existence and an un-godly one at that the selfishness it causes is certainly overloading to any sane person.

    there is some more bad news.. I just recently had a ruptured appendix which came unexpectedly & nearly cost me my life..
    I called the paramedics after a night of being sick and having stomach pain only to be ridiculed by the medics saying calling emergency services is for life and death situations not for someone who has stomach ache.. So that day I just suffered it & thought I just need to 'man up' as they say..

    the following day the pain moved to the side & became worse.. I called an ambulance again and they said I had an infection somewhere & I need to go hospital.. Long story short at hospital after tests we found that my appendix had burst and caused gangrene and all my organs were shutting down I could hardly breath, I needed oxygen.. My eyes were jaundice the consultant said and I was severely dehydrated.. I had a high fever and my heart rate was around 200 bpm for 2 days they were worried that I might have a stroke or a heart attack.. The doctors told me I was very unwell,

    I needed surgery quickly.. Which took 2 and a half times longer than standard procedure & once I woke up they told me I was the worst case they have ever seen.. But other than that and a huge scar down my stomach & a few holes dotted around all is okay now..

    Some good came out of all this.. While in hospital I got detoxed from alcohol for obvious reasons and I've been sober ever since..

    The drama also had made me realise that anything can happen at any given time in life, it is certainly the only time I've been severely unwell and while I nearly died it's made my faith stronger in Christ.. Since I have read the Bible daily and no longer fear death like I once did.

    I never ask for prayers but I'd like to pray for others who have had difficulty in their life.. Regarding health or addiction, because you do matter and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    #2
    Glad your recovery went well and that you over came your addiction to alcohol. I know how difficult addiction could be. I was addicted to cigarettes for 20 years prior to quitting 2 years ago.
    Comment>

      #3
      Thank you both for sharing the things you have over come. I have been on heavy duty pin killers for the last 20 years due to sever disk issues in my lower back. After having a Spinal Simulator surgically put in my spine, and it works killing the pain. Now I want to wean off my pain medication. I saw my doctor yesterday and we have a plan on how to get off my pain medication. I lower the dose one time each month, slowly. I am a dose of 75 and each month I lower it by 12, which the doctor says my system will adjust to and the end results will be without withdraw issues. I was thinking it would be faster, but the doctor said it was too dangerous. If you could just remember me once in a while that would be great. Thank you.




      justme
      Comment>

        #4
        Thanks a lot.

        justme
        Comment>

          #5
          Originally posted by justme View Post
          Thank you both for sharing the things you have over come. I have been on heavy duty pin killers for the last 20 years due to sever disk issues in my lower back. After having a Spinal Simulator surgically put in my spine, and it works killing the pain. Now I want to wean off my pain medication. I saw my doctor yesterday and we have a plan on how to get off my pain medication. I lower the dose one time each month, slowly. I am a dose of 75 and each month I lower it by 12, which the doctor says my system will adjust to and the end results will be without withdraw issues. I was thinking it would be faster, but the doctor said it was too dangerous. If you could just remember me once in a while that would be great. Thank you.




          justme
          You will be remembered.. By me, how can we forget you 😃
          Comment>

            #6
            Hello again... Those who are watching, I personally don't agree with asking for prayers... But I have started drinking heavily again, and smoking... I done so well at a month and a half, I have mental health issues & struggled with my emotions..
            just a thought of me in you're heart would really help me...
            I have so much anger & irritability in me I can't shake off.. Have tried for decade now.. This is why I drink to calm my emotions.. I feel like I'm degrading myself now for admitting all this.. But right now I do not care... I know there is good amongst this fellowship.. I have my very bad faults & my strengths.. My faults are taking Me over again...
            just a rant brothers..
            I very well know I'm sinning & doing a bad show for my faith.. Xx
            Comment>

              #7
              Originally posted by Bliss View Post
              Hello again... Those who are watching, I personally don't agree with asking for prayers... But I have started drinking heavily again, and smoking... I done so well at a month and a half, I have mental health issues & struggled with my emotions..
              just a thought of me in you're heart would really help me...
              I have so much anger & irritability in me I can't shake off.. Have tried for decade now.. This is why I drink to calm my emotions.. I feel like I'm degrading myself now for admitting all this.. But right now I do not care... I know there is good amongst this fellowship.. I have my very bad faults & my strengths.. My faults are taking Mr over again...
              just a rant brothers.. Xx
              G'day Bliss,

              I have a nicotine addiction and love to drink. I experience anxiety and look towards all sorts of areas for relief. Lemme ask you something, is the nicotine or drinking helping? It doesn't help me, but I was convinced that it does. What happens is that I created a vicious circle. I feel anxiety, so I intake nicotine or drink. When the nicotine or alcohol empties my system I feel anxiety. I said, in the past, nicotine and alcohol helps the anxiety, but in actuality it was one of the causes of my anxiety. The anxiety I had is still there, but it is increased with nicotine and alcohol consumption concerning withdraws.

              I'm still looking for relief. But I have not succumbed to, nor will I rationalize the consumption of nicotine or alcohol. It is a band-aid masking the underlying issue which has yet to surface. What has surfaced thus far is that I have a habitual pattern of behavior involving substance abuse. I have gone from one thing to another, but at any time something has replaced the other, sometimes worse, sometimes not so worse. The challenge is trying to find something positive to replace the negative outlets.

              Just thought I'd share my analysis of a life experience.

              God bless,
              William
              Comment>

                #8
                Originally posted by William View Post

                G'day Bliss,

                I have a nicotine addiction and love to drink. I experience anxiety and look towards all sorts of areas for relief. Lemme ask you something, is the nicotine or drinking helping? It doesn't help me, but I was convinced that it does. What happens is that I created a vicious circle. I feel anxiety, so I intake nicotine or drink. When the nicotine or alcohol empties my system I feel anxiety. I said, in the past, nicotine and alcohol helps the anxiety, but in actuality it was one of the causes of my anxiety. The anxiety I had is still there, but it is increased with nicotine and alcohol consumption concerning withdraws.

                I'm still looking for relief. But I have not succumbed to, nor will I rationalize the consumption of nicotine or alcohol. It is a band-aide masking the underlying issue which I has yet to surface. What has surfaced thus far is that I have a habitual pattern of behavior involving substance abuse. I have gone from one thing to another, but at any time something has replaced the other, sometimes worse, sometimes not so worse. The challenge is trying to find something positive to replace the negative outlets.

                Just thought I'd share my analysis of a life experience.

                God bless,
                William
                Hello William....

                I am similar.. I have done one thing to another to stop my feelings... My addiction unfortunately is bad,.. Two bottles daily of spirits or 14-24 cans of be beer a day. My size doesn't help this..
                without a doubt I have emotional issues.. I witnessed a terrible death by my father... And had terrible social issues with my mother that tipped me over the edge...
                I'm in no way blaming anyone.. It is you can only blame yourself for addiction which is selfishness... You might be too kind to say it's, but it is nothing but selfishness..
                I'm having violent thoughts... No I won't act on them.. They are very disturbing. But doesn't excuse my little faith.... I deserve a whipping.. I realise this,.. Even if it doesn't happen nowadays,..
                I'm a good guy that's just a waste of space at the moment...
                please I want your criticism..
                I've been sober before... I need it again lads..
                Comment>

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Bliss View Post

                  Hello William....

                  I am similar.. I have done one thing to another to stop my feelings... My addiction unfortunately is bad,.. Two bottles daily of spirits or 14-24 cans of be beer a day. My size doesn't help this..
                  without a doubt I have emotional issues.. I witnessed a terrible death by my father... And had terrible social issues with my mother that tipped me over the edge...
                  I'm in no way blaming anyone.. It is you can only blame yourself for addiction which is selfishness... You might be too kind to say it's, but it is nothing but selfishness..
                  I'm having violent thoughts... No I won't act on them.. They are very disturbing. But doesn't excuse my little faith.... I deserve a whipping.. I realise this,.. Even if it doesn't happen nowadays,..
                  I'm a good guy that's just a waste of space at the moment...
                  please I want your criticism..
                  I've been sober before... I need it again lads..
                  Brother Bliss,

                  I think you know what you have to do.

                  May I bring something forth to consider? AA and the Church have something in common. They both offer group or congregational support. And they both offer leadership in the group meetings or from the pulpit. You may want to inquire in your church about weekly activities, bible studies, singles groups or marriage groups etc. Involve yourself where you are supported by others and held accountable. Don't be fearful of leaning on others. Talk about these things to your brethren.

                  Praying for you brother.

                  God bless,
                  William
                  Comment>

                    #10
                    Originally posted by William View Post

                    Brother Bliss,

                    I think you know what you have to do.

                    May I bring something forth to consider? AA and the Church have something in common. They both offer group or congregational support. And they both offer leadership in the group meetings or from the pulpit. You may want to inquire in your church about weekly activities, bible studies, singles groups or marriage groups etc. Involve yourself where you are supported by others and held accountable. Don't be fearful of leaning on others. Talk about these things to your brethren.

                    Praying for you brother.

                    God bless,
                    William
                    I am fearful.. I believe that's why society gets into these issues..
                    with drugs, drink or psychiatric issues. I believe my fear is so big I'm not worthy of society, I know today I nearly fainted in supermarket getting alcohol.. This is how sad a person I am.. & this isn't a first. .. AA is a big option here yes.. But again I have massive massive anxiety issues which are not biblical that stops me from getting help & with my life.. Plus AA is about getting up & talking about your addiction in front of many... I feel like I'd rather die than do that due to anxiety...

                    you understand I think William thank you
                    Comment>

                      #11
                      Bliss --have you considered a Christian Rehab facility?

                      William -- have you considered a Christian psychiatrist? Seriously.

                      Both you guys have some serious issues to deal with.
                      Comment>

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Bliss View Post

                        I am fearful.. I believe that's why society gets into these issues..
                        with drugs, drink or psychiatric issues. I believe my fear is so big I'm not worthy of society, I know today I nearly fainted in supermarket getting alcohol.. This is how sad a person I am.. & this isn't a first. .. AA is a big option here yes.. But again I have massive massive anxiety issues which are not biblical that stops me from getting help & with my life.. Plus AA is about getting up & talking about your addiction in front of many... I feel like I'd rather die than do that due to anxiety...

                        you understand I think William thank you
                        Been through a very similar phase in my life when I was battling a drug addiction issue. I totally relate to what you're sharing. Lemme just share with you that Christ's atonement and propitiation is greater than our sins. Though, when I was struggling with a pretty hard core addiction, I felt unworthy too. Truth of the matter I was not acting worthily. At that time I preferred isolation. I would even go out late at night to avoid people when having to go grocery shopping etc. Satan loves it when God's children are isolated, Bliss.

                        I remember how nerve racking it was to leave my comfort zone and attend church single groups. The first time I kept breaking out in a sweat and had near panic attacks. But in faith, I did leave my comfort zone. It took nearly a year after routinely going out after drug cessation before these types of symptoms were distant memories.

                        Curious though, you mention that these instances are "selfish". I hope that you find God in life greater than yourself. A reason to live beyond just breathing or waking up.

                        Praying for you buddy, I think you know which behaviors are self-destructive.

                        God bless,
                        William
                        Comment>

                          #13
                          I've been through two years of counseling myself -- I know how beneficial it can be. My counselor also gave me tools to work with on my own. I also struggle with 'stuff' -- and it Does help to know that there Are others who struggle with 'stuff'.

                          And, yes, satan Does want us to think that we're Awful people to have 'problems' -- and, yes, isolation is Not the answer.

                          Doing the 'right' stuff is Not easy -- it's Hard. Satan does Not want Christians to be strong people -- he wants us Weak.
                          Comment>

                            #14
                            Bliss; I don't know a Christian that isn't struggling with a sin issue. For some it is a minor sin issue, but for others it may be hiding drinking, adultery, Porn addiction, ,anger and rage, homosexuality or so many sinful problems that Satan is doing all he can to make them believe the faith in Christ is not real and to give up and continue their sinful lives.

                            With the ease of narcotics by prescriptions many believers are addicted. This is a sin is very easy to hide, and unless a person acts out no one would ever guess. I say this because this addiction has so many in their clutches.


                            Bliss beibg so open with us is a blessing for us so we can pray for you. I hope you seriously consider taking Williams advice and Sue's as there is a way out of this very darkness you are struggling in. Please do not feel ashamed as none of are sin free and we too each are fighting Satan at every turn in our life. God bless you Bliss.


                            justme
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