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Is it fine to pray to get someone to fall in love with you?

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  • Is it fine to pray to get someone to fall in love with you?

    I love someone and she is happily married now. Is it fine to pray to get her fall in love with me? Can I pray for marrying her?. I heard that it is not good to pray for someone to fall in love with you as a person is happy in his or her life without you then it is a sin to get her. What if I have loving feelings fo her? If it is not allowed to pray for such condition then how I can handle my emotions?

  • #2
    Originally posted by jahanzeb ali qureshi View Post
    I love someone and she is happily married now. Is it fine to pray to get her fall in love with me? Can I pray for marrying her?. I heard that it is not good to pray for someone to fall in love with you as a person is happy in his or her life without you then it is a sin to get her. What if I have loving feelings fo her? If it is not allowed to pray for such condition then how I can handle my emotions?
    • Matthew 5:28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
    • Luke 16:18 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

    You are committing adultery. She is off limits to you.

    As to how you can check your emotions, you should pick up the Bible and begin reading it. Let the Scriptures guide you to confessing your sins and repenting of them. Use this time to reconcile your relationship with the Lord, leaning not on your own understanding but trusting in the Lord.

    Have you considered attending a church in your area? There are singles groups there that help others cope and even find a potential spouse.

    But right now, I think you should familiarize yourself with Scripture. And learn to love your God above all and your brethren rightly. Loving God first and foremost will put your love for others in proper perspective.

    God bless,
    William
    Comment>

    • #3
      Originally posted by jahanzeb ali qureshi View Post
      I love someone and she is happily married now. Is it fine to pray to get her fall in love with me? Can I pray for marrying her?. I heard that it is not good to pray for someone to fall in love with you as a person is happy in his or her life without you then it is a sin to get her. What if I have loving feelings fo her? If it is not allowed to pray for such condition then how I can handle my emotions?
      If you wish to destroy her happy marriage, putting her through pain to benefit yourself, how can you say you have 'loving feelings for her'? Lust perhaps, but not love. Since a divorced woman would not remarry in many Christian groups, you would be praying for the death of her husband or for her to abandon her faith to be with you. Put that way, can you see what is so wrong with your prayer? (The Lord's reaction to David and Bathsheba rather suggests such a prayer would not be answered in a way you would like.)

      Do you think she would love you if she knew you were praying for harm to come to her and her family, so you could be happy? There is an easy way to prove that what you are doing is wrong: if you believe there is nothing wrong with praying for this, tell her that you are doing so. I doubt she will ever speak to you again.

      I would suggest you would do better to pray to be forgiven your temptation, and help overcoming it. You might also want to take action to limit the temptation of being near her if you are having trouble with it. If you are in a club together for example, then you should step back.
      Last edited by ChatterBox; 05-12-2017, 01:56 AM.
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      • #4
        Originally posted by ChatterBox View Post
        If you wish to destroy her happy marriage, putting her through pain to benefit yourself, how can you say you have 'loving feelings for her'? Lust perhaps, but not love. Since a divorced woman would not remarry in many Christian groups, you would be praying for the death of her husband or for her to abandon her faith to be with you. Put that way, can you see what is so wrong with your prayer? (The Lord's reaction to David and Bathsheba rather suggests such a prayer would not be answered in a way you would like.)

        Do you think she would love you if she knew you were praying for harm to come to her and her family, so you could be happy? There is any easy way to prove that what you are doing is wrong: if you believe there is nothing wrong with praying for this, tell her that you are doing so. I doubt she will ever speak to you again.

        I would suggest you would do better to pray to be forgiven your temptation, and help overcoming it. You might also want to take action to limit the temptation of being near her if you are having trouble with it. If you are in a club together for example, then you should step back.
        Amen sister!

        I thought it inappropriate to suggest the only way for them to be together was if her husband died. This took a lady's touch in being so tactful and eloquent as you have written. Thank you, Chatterbox!

        God bless,
        William
        Comment>

        • #5
          Originally posted by William View Post
          • Matthew 5:28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
          • Luke 16:18 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

          You are committing adultery. She is off limits to you.
          Matthew 19:8-9 - "except for sexual immorality"

          I think that when you stop having feelings for your spouse and develop romantic / sexual feelings for another person, you have already committed adultery with said person in your mind, therefore you have engaged in sexual immorality (even if only mentally, not physically). Therefore that should be a pretty valid reason to get a divorce instead of continuing to remain in an unhappy marriage with a person you no longer love (romantically).
          Comment>

          • #6
            Originally posted by Lucian Hodoboc View Post
            I think that when you stop having feelings for your spouse and develop romantic / sexual feelings for another person, you have already committed adultery with said person in your mind, therefore you have engaged in sexual immorality (even if only mentally, not physically). Therefore that should be a pretty valid reason to get a divorce instead of continuing to remain in an unhappy marriage with a person you no longer love (romantically).
            Divorce is only permitted if your spouse is immoral. Since we can't know what others are thinking it is only the physical act of adultery that allows divorce.
            Clyde Herrin's Blog
            Comment>

            • #7
              Originally posted by theophilus View Post
              Divorce is only permitted if your spouse is immoral.
              Or when you're immoral.

              Which is worse: to remain in a marriage with a person you no longer have feelings for and constantly lust over someone else (which means that you commit the sin of adultery every day in your mind) or to divorce your spouse and marry the person you have feelings for (which means that you only commit adultery only one time by divorcing and then never again)? Is it better to sin with your thoughts every day or to sin with your actions one time?
              Comment>

              • #8
                Originally posted by Lucian Hodoboc View Post
                Which is worse: to remain in a marriage with a person you no longer have feelings for and constantly lust over someone else (which means that you commit the sin of adultery every day in your mind) or to divorce your spouse and marry the person you have feelings for (which means that you only commit adultery only one time by divorcing and then never again)? Is it better to sin with your thoughts every day or to sin with your actions one time?
                The only course of action acceptable to God is to stop sinning in your thoughts. When someone marries he is committing himself to a lifetime of faithfulness to his spouse. Nothing that he thinks will change that commitment.

                Why are you asking these questions? Do you have some personal reason for doing so?
                Clyde Herrin's Blog
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                • #9
                  Originally posted by theophilus View Post
                  The only course of action acceptable to God is to stop sinning in your thoughts.
                  Some people can't control their thoughts. Especially if they have certain mental conditions, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder.

                  Comment>

                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Lucian Hodoboc View Post

                    Some people can't control their thoughts. Especially if they have certain mental conditions, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder.
                    G'day Lucian,

                    As someone that exhibits obsessive compulsive disorder at times during mania (bi-polar), in my experience, the key is to stop subjecting oneself to unholy things (media etc). I have learned to refocus my obsessiveness on something holy as Scripture. Whereas my thoughts would once wander in darkness, they now are guided in light. Even my dreams have been affected, instead of dreaming all kinds of things, many of my dreams now involve Scripture. It is amazing what the mind conjures up from a reservoir of information derived from certain sources. One can expect to think certain things if they subject themselves to porn etc.

                    It took me months of ceasing television, radio, and forms of literature before I began seeing the results. I logged my dream patterns for several months, and when I relapsed and viewed something unholy it had an impact in my dreams/sub-conscious as my dream patterns were disrupted.

                    Some people may not be able to control their thoughts as a normal person (don't think about a pink elephant), but it leaves them no more excuse than a drunkard, homosexual, adulterer etc. They are in need of reconciliation through the atonement and propitiation of Jesus Christ. Because something comes naturally for someone, or all, such as sin, doesn't mean we should excuse the behavior.

                    God bless,
                    William
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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by William View Post
                      Because something comes naturally for someone, or all, such as sin, doesn't mean we should excuse the behavior.
                      Thoughts are not behavior and therefore the comparison between them and the actions of a drunkard who chooses to take the bottle of alcohol and drink from it, of a homosexual who chooses to engage in sex with people of the same gender and of an adulterer who chooses to cheat on their spouse, does not hold ground.

                      You can tie down a drunkard and inject him with substances to diminish his desire for alcohol. You can tie down a homosexual and inject him with substances (anaphrodisiacs) to diminish his libido / sexual desires. You can tie down an adulterer and stop him from going out to have sex with other people. But so far there has been no substance discovered to make a person control their thoughts. There is a branch of OCD, that is related to religion, which makes people have intrusive vulgar and blasphemous thoughts. The devastating effect this has upon Christians who suffer from this illness is described here:

                      OCD Types | Religious Obsessions

                      Would reading the Scripture help such a person? How could one even focus on reading the Scripture while constantly having blasphemous thoughts at every verse and during every prayer? One would reach a point at which one would fall into hopelessness or be too ashamed to continue.
                      Comment>

                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Lucian Hodoboc View Post

                        Thoughts are not behavior and therefore the comparison between them and the actions of a drunkard who chooses to take the bottle of alcohol and drink from it, of a homosexual who chooses to engage in sex with people of the same gender and of an adulterer who chooses to cheat on their spouse, does not hold ground.

                        You can tie down a drunkard and inject him with substances to diminish his desire for alcohol. You can tie down a homosexual and inject him with substances (anaphrodisiacs) to diminish his libido / sexual desires. You can tie down an adulterer and stop him from going out to have sex with other people. But so far there has been no substance discovered to make a person control their thoughts. There is a branch of OCD, that is related to religion, which makes people have intrusive vulgar and blasphemous thoughts. The devastating effect this has upon Christians who suffer from this illness is described here:

                        OCD Types | Religious Obsessions

                        Would reading the Scripture help such a person? How could one even focus on reading the Scripture while constantly having blasphemous thoughts at every verse and during every prayer? One would reach a point at which one would fall into hopelessness or be too ashamed to continue.
                        As a Christian do you believe the Scripture will help someone?

                        Don't forget demonic possession... that is, since you want to use secular authorities as the standard bearer for what is acceptable or the norm: Trance and Possession Disorder

                        God bless,
                        William
                        Comment>

                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Lucian Hodoboc View Post
                          Thoughts are not behavior and therefore the comparison between them and the actions of a drunkard who chooses to take the bottle of alcohol and drink from it, of a homosexual who chooses to engage in sex with people of the same gender and of an adulterer who chooses to cheat on their spouse, does not hold ground.
                          All behavior begins with thought. If we think on something too long we are likely to eventually act on our thoughts.
                          Clyde Herrin's Blog
                          Comment>

                          • #14
                            Why do we pray? We pray to thank the Lord for every thing he has given to us. we pray the Lord to give us courage to survive in the world. We pray to make our life easier. Therefore, I believe there is nothing wrong in asking someone to fall in love with us through our prayers. As long as our prayer does not harm other people, there is nothing wrong to pray to get someone fall in love with us.
                            Comment>

                            • #15
                              Since you stated that she is married, and considering the fact that you love her why would even think for one second to ruin her marriage and make her fall in love with you? what if it doesn't work out between you two?
                              Comment>
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