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I need stability

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  • I need stability

    Hello everyone,
    I know this may come across as a weird prayer request but it's just my feelings and a bit of what I need to be happier. I love companionship and I don't have friends as I am an introvert, being in a relationship is a safe place for me as my partner normally becomes my best friend as well. At this point in my life I really need stability, a lifetime partner with whom I can pray and grow. I don't want just another one year or two years relationship, it ought to be a long term thing.
    I could date almost anyone I want but I don't date outside of my religion and I have a few more restrictions as well, hence the reason I am asking for prayers over my life in general and also for me to find the right person.
    Everyone copes differently but I hate being single.

  • #2
    Hi Davienna, I was almost 32 yrs old when I got married, and my wife was 29 (both of us for the first time). I hated being single too, but I decided to truly trust God with this 'all important' area of my life (as I already had with so many others). I told Him that I wanted to be married, but I also told Him that if that was not His plan for my life, I would happily trust Him anyway, believing (just as I had when I first became a Christian) that He knew what was best for me (even if that meant never being married).

    And not long after that, I met my wife :)

    Obeying the command found in Psalm 37:4 will be very helpful, but (considering the story I just told you about meeting my wife) please understand that v4 is not talking about doing something to please God so that He'll do something for you in return ;)

    Yours in Christ,
    David
    p.s. - praying for you!


    "Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will
    give you the desires of your heart"

    Psalm 37:4

    Simul Justus et Peccator ~Martin Luther

    "We are justified by faith alone, but the faith that justifies is never alone" ~John Calvin

    "The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us." ~C. S. Lewis

    "The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances" ~Elisabeth Elliot

    "The law is for the self-righteous to humble their pride; the Gospel is for the lost to remove their despair. ~C. H. Spurgeon
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    • #3
      Well I have to say that the story of St_Worm2 and his wife is very uplifting, and I wish that I had a better story about meeting my wife. I think that it is important to trust Him in certainly areas of our lives, though, and have faith that in the end it will all work out, according to Him and His plan. It can be riddled with bumps and bruises, but hopefully this is the path that is meant for you and will allow you to live your life accordingly. Thanks for sharing.
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      • #4
        Much the same as St_Worm2, I prayed. I didn't want to settle for anyone - and that was a big thing for me. I wanted to marry someone who had similar values, because I knew that was going to be the best foundation for a strong marriage in the long run - and now I have been married for almost 4 years and it has been wonderful. Of course, any marriage has challenges but I think that's what makes it so worth it.

        I will be praying for you!
        Comment>

        • #5
          There was a time I was lonely and I prayed, asked God for a friend. On the same day, someone came into my life. It felt good for a little while until we started drifting apart and I learned that the love we seek here on earth — it doesn't last. What we need more is God. When you love God with all your heart even if you've got no friends at all, you never will be alone. Loneliness isn't something you'll ever have to grapple with again. Pray for a godly spouse but focus on seeking God because humans eventually will let you down. God never will.
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          • #6
            Praying for you. I understand where you are coming from as well. I am often in the same position as you and it's hard to meet new people especially outside of your own religion with different thought processes. Being an introvert as well doesn't help your situation but you have to find the courage within yourself to get out there and meet new people and take the challenge head on. Ask god for strength, and I will pray for you as well.
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            • #7
              Hi Davienna! I noticed you used the phrase, "what I need to be happier." I do know the heartache that comes with being single, and the longing to be united with someone. The longing itself is a godly thing!

              But I think you will be disappointed if happiness is your goal. It's never promised to us in the Christian life; it's not our goal. Our goal is to be more like Christ, thus finding joy in him, not others.

              The other reason I think you will be disappointed, is that when a sinner marries another sinner, and there are expectations for happiness to come as a result, it always ends in disappointment.

              I do pray for you. I pray that you will have strength to bear whatever loneliness and disappointment comes to you, not because you are a strong person, but because you turn to Christ in your grief. I pray you'll find joy in what he does choose to give you. I pray that you receive wisdom when considering people you meet - whether to go on that first date, whether to have a deep conversation, whether to date steadily, whether to say "yes," whether to say "I do."

              Often the prayers I pray are, "Lord, help my life to be happy and everything to go smoothly." It sounds ridiculous when I say it like that - and it IS ridiculous! But we all do it, when we should be praying for growth and strength and glory to God!
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              • #8
                Originally posted by listener1987 View Post
                Hi Davienna! I noticed you used the phrase, "what I need to be happier." I do know the heartache that comes with being single, and the longing to be united with someone. The longing itself is a godly thing!

                But I think you will be disappointed if happiness is your goal. It's never promised to us in the Christian life; it's not our goal. Our goal is to be more like Christ, thus finding joy in him, not others.

                The other reason I think you will be disappointed, is that when a sinner marries another sinner, and there are expectations for happiness to come as a result, it always ends in disappointment.

                I do pray for you. I pray that you will have strength to bear whatever loneliness and disappointment comes to you, not because you are a strong person, but because you turn to Christ in your grief. I pray you'll find joy in what he does choose to give you. I pray that you receive wisdom when considering people you meet - whether to go on that first date, whether to have a deep conversation, whether to date steadily, whether to say "yes," whether to say "I do."

                Often the prayers I pray are, "Lord, help my life to be happy and everything to go smoothly." It sounds ridiculous when I say it like that - and it IS ridiculous! But we all do it, when we should be praying for growth and strength and glory to God!
                Amen!

                Wonderful advice Listener.

                I'd also like to point out that there are 7 billion people on this planet. Unlike Adam, we have a church community to turn to. But isn't it amazing that we can be in the midst of seven billion and still feel completely alone? Only God can fill that void Davienna. Remember the Samaritan woman at the well that had Five Husbands? She hungered and thirsted, and went from one relationship to another, not knowing that that void could only be filled by God!

                Originally posted by Davienna View Post
                Hello everyone,
                I know this may come across as a weird prayer request but it's just my feelings and a bit of what I need to be happier. I love companionship and I don't have friends as I am an introvert, being in a relationship is a safe place for me as my partner normally becomes my best friend as well. At this point in my life I really need stability, a lifetime partner with whom I can pray and grow. I don't want just another one year or two years relationship, it ought to be a long term thing.
                I could date almost anyone I want but I don't date outside of my religion and I have a few more restrictions as well, hence the reason I am asking for prayers over my life in general and also for me to find the right person.
                Everyone copes differently but I hate being single.

                Davienna, I am an introvert too. Years ago though I prayed to God to help push me past my natural tendencies to isolate myself, and just absorb into my man cave. Don't get me wrong, I still need time to re-energize after social engagement, however I am making progress. Instead of sitting on the outskirts of the congregation, you'll find me smack dab in the middle towards the front in the midst of fellow believers! :eek:

                God bless,
                William
                Comment>

                • #9
                  Originally posted by listener1987 View Post
                  But I think you will be disappointed if happiness is your goal. It's never promised to us in the Christian life; it's not our goal. Our goal is to be more like Christ, thus finding joy in him, not others.
                  Well this is a bit confusing, but I cannot help but think that it is really important. There is a saying out there that goes something like don't seek out happiness, seek out content or something like that, and I would say it is kind of similar here. I am not sure I follow the immediate link to it meaning something material, although by nature I think that is probably the case for most people. Working with definitions and being clear is kind of difficult when dealing with these issues, and this just really works to show that. I like the message though, and thanks for sharing.
                  Comment>
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