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People hurting me and keeping faith

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  • People hurting me and keeping faith

    Hi, I counted up the number of people that had hurt or betrayed me before the age of 20 and it was a lot. Both parents, both siblings, a teacher, a best friend, an older man, a boyfriend are some of the main ones. I've been sexually assulted against my will by 2 different men. One when I was 17. My parents alternated between acting normal, hitting me, ignoring me or blaming me for their sins. My mother told me she'd wanted an abortion for me and then smiled. She clearly let me know in many ways I wasn't wanted but then she'd take me to girl scouts. All that time I was strong within myself, I mean I knew I was okay inside. I've talked with God since I was a toddler. But now one too many things has happened and it's all come crashing down and I barely get through each day. I have nightmares and constant thoughts about these people, and how they will still be gossing about me, how they hate me (for no reason except I was born happy and joyful). I pray ALL the time. I know it's not my job to worry about these people, that God will take care of that, and yet every day I'm faced with how radically they have altered the happy, healthy life I should have had. God has actually given me many miricles. I"m careful about tell people about them because I've had people on a prayer line tell me they haven't happened, or ignoring me when I've tried to tell them what God has done for me. (What's that all about? These are Christian prayer lines). It all has made me doubt the human race, doubt my ability to survive. NEVER to doubt God, but I get scared often that I am alone. That's down to me and my faith, I know. I keep getting sick now, I had anaphalactic shock twice now from eating nuts. I never was allergic to them before. It's like my body wants to die or quit or something. I'm sooooo tired. I'm always tired. I never sleep peacefully. I keep going on Yahoo Answers and keep getting trolled and told more horrid things. (Well, that's not true of everyone on there, I've also gotten amazing kind help. A man on a prayer line told me he was getting a message from the Holy Spirit that I should try going on a Christian site, so here I am. I'm already worried I will be ignored or belittled though. God bless and keep you all. Thanks for reading if you have.

  • #2
    I am not sure what to say, except "WELCOME".

    I hate giving advice without praying first, so I won't.
    I just wanted you to know that you were not ignored and you were not belittled.

    God bless. (until I have something better to say).
    Last edited by atpollard; 04-02-2016, 04:00 PM.
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    • #3
      Welcome Laurel,

      God bless,
      William

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      • #4
        Welcome Laurel. I am sad to learn about your problems. The first thing you should do is get away from abusive people as much as you can. But don't be alone. You need to talk with friends you trust. Or a good fellow christian that you know very well. And pray to God. Ask Him for peace and direction. He will show you.
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        • #5
          Hello Laurel
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          • #6
            Hello Laurel, Sad to hear about you. I'll pray for you. Matthew 18:20 says when two or more gather in Jesus, their wish will be fulfilled, and Jesus had done his work on the cross and given us each and every spirtual blessing. Do not ask God to strengthen you and your wisdom but ask him for our Lord Jesus Christ's wisdom and strength as he is in us.
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