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How a single should spend his life if he cant marry right now?

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  • How a single should spend his life if he cant marry right now?

    A friend of mine is suffering from a feeling that he wants someone special in his life. He wants a girlfriends.I think it is natural to feel the need of it. He is not in the condition of marrying someone. How he should live his life if he is now or never be able to marry due to financial problem?

  • #2
    Hi Jahanzeb, since the Bible doesn't forbid having "someone special" in your life before you're married, I'm not sure I understand your question, unless by "wanting" a girlfriend, you mean that your friend wants to have sex before he's married (which is not ok).

    A single person needs to remain celibate until they're married if their desire is to obey/please/honor/glorify God.

    Yours and His,
    David

    1 Thessalonians 4
    3 This is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;
    4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,
    5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God.

    Simul Justus et Peccator ~Martin Luther

    "We are justified by faith alone, but the faith that justifies is never alone" ~John Calvin

    "The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us." ~C. S. Lewis

    "The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances" ~Elisabeth Elliot

    "The law is for the self-righteous to humble their pride; the Gospel is for the lost to remove their despair. ~C. H. Spurgeon
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    • #3
      Mr.David Lee thanks for informing us about the way that God showed us to face every trouble in life. I agree to this point that a person should spend his life with patience and in a noble way. He should control his sexual fantasies until he gets married. He should stay in a limit if he is in relation with someone.
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      • #4
        When I was "single", I slowly learned that my desire for marriage... for a woman, actually became Idolatry. I desired her more than I did Christ.

        While it is natural to desire to be married, I needed to do some self-examination before I began to pursue a woman.

        I also came to realize the painful way that "It is better to be single and wish to be married than married wishing to be single!"
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        • #5
          I agree with reformed that it is better to stay single because you can't be single again if you are married once. It is natural to feel the need of a woman. I think it is a need of a normal man. There is nothing to surprise about it. We should ask ourselves that can we fulfill all the needs of a family.
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          • #6
            Originally posted by jahanzeb ali qureshi View Post
            I agree with reformed that it is better to stay single because you can't be single again if you are married once. It is natural to feel the need of a woman. I think it is a need of a normal man. There is nothing to surprise about it. We should ask ourselves that can we fulfill all the needs of a family.
            1 Corinthians 7: Principles for Marriage

            7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

            6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.[a]7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

            8To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

            10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

            12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you[b] to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

            God bless,
            William

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            • #7
              I am really thankful to William for guidelines. I agree with you that a single person should control his sexual desire and if he cannot then he should get married. It good to get married rather than burning in the sexual passion. If a person is not in a condition to marry then he should control his feelings until he is in the position.
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              • #8
                Originally posted by jahanzeb ali qureshi View Post
                A friend of mine is suffering from a feeling that he wants someone special in his life. He wants a girlfriends.I think it is natural to feel the need of it. He is not in the condition of marrying someone. How he should live his life if he is now or never be able to marry due to financial problem?
                Its very hard, my friend.

                I am nearly 50 and am still single and as i believe that sex is only an option after marraige, you can draw your own logical conclusions.

                Paul was single, but i dont think he burned with lust. He said if you cannot control yourself, marry.

                The simple answer is PRAYER.

                God will send you who HE wants you to have, if anyone.

                Rather than ask "Please give me someone" all the time, how about saying "Thank you Lord, please help me to accept YOUR will in my life"?
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                • #9
                  A single person should go to his or he normal work for instance if he is a teacher he should teach his student then during his or her free time he should do voluntary jobs related to his work. If he does no have profession then he should look for other voluntary jobs especially those which help to preserve environment. A single person can also help to spread the word of good this is so important for it help in spread the word of God.
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                  • #10
                    Part of #1 post included financial problems. Personal finances are important to have control of. Take care of credit card debts -- don't have credit cards. Live within your financial means. A person will have 'x' number of dollars available per week or month. Live within That amount. Most people have rent / house payments / car or some way for getting to a job or where ever. Live Within your income. Learn to do That Before getting attached to someone else.
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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Sue D. View Post
                      Part of #1 post included financial problems. Personal finances are important to have control of. Take care of credit card debts -- don't have credit cards. Live within your financial means. A person will have 'x' number of dollars available per week or month. Live within That amount. Most people have rent / house payments / car or some way for getting to a job or where ever. Live Within your income. Learn to do That Before getting attached to someone else.
                      It is a good idea to live within your circumstances rather than ignoring your economical condition. Living a simple life is better than living a luxurious life that would a cause of being worried in the future.
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                      • #12
                        A person doesn't especially have to live a simple life -- simply have a good money-management system for whatever income level you're in.
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