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Moving too fast? trying to figure out logistics for our future.

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    Moving too fast? trying to figure out logistics for our future.

    I met my girlfriend online in August and began going on dates in September, and since then things have been awesome. I'm pretty sure this is the girl I'm supposed to marry, and we have already discussed a general timeline for engagement and marriage, with a potential wedding in the summer of 2019. I'm 29 and she's 27. We live an hour apart, but we spend weekends together and try to get together as often as possible during the week, plus several skype dates/phone calls, etc. My friends think I am moving way too fast since we only started to date in September. She's a teacher and I work in publishing, but I'm considering making a move to a different organization that's closer to her, and a job has opened up. She's also said she'd be willing to look at teaching jobs in my area. So, any advice or prayers would be appreciated.

    #2
    Does she believe as you do? Would adultery be against her moral character? Would she really mean it if she promised to stay with you through the good and bad, even if you become poor, even if she doesn't feel in love anymore?
    If you can answer those questions with a yes, then I'd say go for it.

    ​​​​​​My opinion might sound a little irrational, but just get married. I know that marriages fail and the cause is said to be because the couple didn't didn't take enough time to get to know their spouse, but it's the focus on the wrong things and moral bankruptcy that causes marriages to fail.

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    • Sue D.
      Sue D. commented
      Editing a comment
      Why do you bring up the subject of adultery? If a couple goes into a marriage with the possibility of it's failing -- then Don't get married. Do get married knowing that you have the same goals in life. A big qualifier for a future marriage partner is both of them being believers -- growing spiritually.

    • Innerfire89
      Innerfire89 commented
      Editing a comment
      I brought up adultery because it's something you would need to know that your spouse would do or not. The topic is asking if he's moving too fast, I'm saying no if he knows that she has the moral backbone that would make having an affair she wouldn't do.

      The point I was making is that he should evaluate her fruits more than other things, if he's done that already then it's been enough time.

    #3
    Are you both Christians?
    If so, what denomination do you and her belong to?

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      #4
      Originally posted by Dano488 View Post
      I met my girlfriend online in August and began going on dates in September, and since then things have been awesome. I'm pretty sure this is the girl I'm supposed to marry, and we have already discussed a general timeline for engagement and marriage, with a potential wedding in the summer of 2019. I'm 29 and she's 27. We live an hour apart, but we spend weekends together and try to get together as often as possible during the week, plus several skype dates/phone calls, etc. My friends think I am moving way too fast since we only started to date in September. She's a teacher and I work in publishing, but I'm considering making a move to a different organization that's closer to her, and a job has opened up. She's also said she'd be willing to look at teaching jobs in my area. So, any advice or prayers would be appreciated.
      You are moving too fast. Way....... too........ fast!

      My suggestion is to go into marital counseling as you will learn the questions you need to ask each other and do not speak of marriage untill you've dated for at least 2 years. That way the both of you will learn from the life experiences you will have together, as to how each of you act and react. Marriage is a dance of continual support from and for each other. and love is never enough. Life is stressful and marriage is eternal. You need to know the person, through and through as you will be raising children with this person and life gets very, very real when children enter the picture.


      Do not move, JUST to be closer. You may or may not work out with this person, but you will always have to support yourself, no matter what happens, life will continue and if you moved down, then you will have twice as far to go to reach the level God has instore for you.
      Last edited by just_me; 02-01-2018, 03:14 PM.

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      • Sue D.
        Sue D. commented
        Editing a comment
        If a dating couple isn't even Considering marriage - as adults-- well- Why wait for two years Before talking about it. Couples Starting dating or courting Because they like being together and are 'thinking' of a future mate. Other-wise Why be dating in the 1st place.

      #5

      If you are both Christians and you enjoy each other that good and fine. How about Church do you go to church together, Have you both have close interests?

      Long engagements often wind up having sex and it gets hard to wait.. My wife and I were engaged ten months and it was just perfect for us, we got to really know each other,our families meant, and we knew God wanted us to be married. That was almost 49 years ago.

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