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Should You Keep Being Friends with an Ex?

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    Should You Keep Being Friends with an Ex?

    When we leave our significant other or they leave us, staying as friends isn’t usually the first thought that comes into our minds. But later on in life, when the echoes of our quarrels have died down and our hearts have healed, our minds tend to drift to thoughts of our ex, especially if they’ve been part of our lives for quite some time.


    We think about the one that got away and what it could have been had things worked out with them. We see their pictures on social media and wonder why you’re still friends in Facebook. Then we ask ourselves if it’s okay to keep being friends with an ex. Is it really alright, though?


    Personally, I think being friends with an ex can be beneficial. It’s a sign of maturity that we’re able to accept an ex’s friendship without attaching any romantic feelings. It’s also good for closure, like if you had a falling-out with your partner and your relationship ended abruptly, revisiting your relationship some time later can help weave the wounds close. It gives us an opportunity to forgive and forget and release any grudge we hold in our hearts. Peacefully, of course.


    A platonic friendship with an ex is great for practical reasons too. I know a guy who still lives with his ex-girlfriend. They’ve been in a relationship for around eight years in the same house, and they had stuff they bought and paid for together. When they fell out of love, they just agreed to keep the status quo as it would’ve been too much trouble sorting out who owns this piece of furniture, or that unwashed plushy.


    In times of need, each of them still provides for the other even if they’re no longer dating. It may seem like they’re still a couple, but they’ve agreed that that’s not the case and that there’s no more romantic love between them anymore. It’s just simple friendship between two ex-lovers.


    When we’ve broken up with someone, we sometimes think that that was the end, that there’s nothing to think about anymore as it is over and there’s no getting back together. But sometimes, something beautiful can remain buried beneath the ashes of a failed relationship. Being friends with an ex can lead to a different sort of friendship.


    Do you think being friends with an ex is good? Share some of your stories.

    #2
    I know there may be exceptions but as for me I would avoid them. I would feel in contacting them without my wife's knowledge that I would be betraying her and this would make me feel awful inside. Even with my wife's okay (this would never happen) I would still stay away.

    I would definitely not want to see them in person. I don't know about others but the thought would be there for me to hook back up with her. It's just bad news all around.
    Comment>

      #3
      If you can be friends without lust, then there doesn't seem to be any reason why not. I know a few former couples who realised during courting that they were much better as friends than they ever would be in a relationship. In the cases where they stayed friends without trouble they've been honest and open with their current spouses about the past, and why there is no chance of things rekindling, and the exs have become friends of the couple, not just the spouse. Trying to hide something like that or keeping it a secret, is just asking for problems.

      Originally posted by Faber View Post
      I would definitely not want to see them in person. I don't know about others but the thought would be there for me to hook back up with her. It's just bad news all around.
      If you're still holding a torch for them like that, then trying to keep them in your life as a friend is not a good idea. You'd just be exposing yourself to temptation, and it isn't fair on your spouse.




      Comment>

        #4
        Should you still be friends with your ex. That depends on the situation. The reason for the break-up. If there are kids involved and the ex's Can be friends -- yes, a sign of maturity -- their kids still need to see that Mom and Dad are nice people And sometimes it simply isn't possible to be friends. They got married for a reason and turned around and got divorced for a reason.

        Sometimes spouses forget that dating stops once a person gets married.

        Once there is a remarriage -- being friends with an ex Can be a recipe for disaster. Or it Can end up being a Good thing. Depending on if there are kids involved.
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