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The Truth of Pornography

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    The Truth of Pornography

    This was published in the Catholic Herald (29/05/2015) and taken from secondsightblog.net. The Catholic Herald says it can be freely reproduced.

    My very dear Grandchildren,

    I am writing you an important letter. You may or may not agree with it, but I am asking you to read it carefully and to think about what it says. Since it’s an awkward subject – pornography – you may not want to talk with me or your grandmother about it – and that’s fine. But we’re here if you want to.

    Nowadays pornography is easily available, perhaps on a tablet or on a phone. And, if you haven’t looked for it yourself, you may well have friends who have shown it to you. That’s not surprising because many people, of all ages, have watched pornography. I am not going to discuss rights or wrongs here but I want to tell you that pornography is a lie. And it’s a dangerous lie which can do you a great deal of harm. The kind of pornography I am writing about is typically a video in which pretty well every form of possible sexual contact between men and women is shown, either with couples or groups.

    What is the lie about that – if such things really do happen? It’s found in the impression that what you see on the video shows in some way what a good and exciting sexual life ought to be like. Older people with many years of experience, recognise the lie immediately, and need pay no attention to it. But those who encounter pornography at a young age have no such defence.

    When you look at yourself as a sexual person you will probably recognise two things. One is a concern about love – falling in love, about affection between men and women, and about loving relationships. The other is sexual thrill. And it is only the second which pornography addresses.

    Don’t knock sexual thrill! It’s very important. It is nature’s way of urging: “make a baby, make a baby”. In your science classes you will have learned how evolution constantly favours breeding – without it there would be no evolution in any species. In the midst of sexual thrill you won’t hear nature’s message; indeed the last thing you may want is to make a baby, but that’s what it’s all about.

    Go back to the video. To listen to it you would think that everyone one is having ecstatic feelings over and over again. Look more carefully, and you will see that the actors don’t look ecstatic, they look bored. They look bored because before long even extreme sexual thrills become boring. Think about it – first time great, second time good, 100th time boring – give me something new!

    And now you can pity your grandparents. They have been married for 50 years. Assuming they’ve made love twice a week, that’s 5000 times. Boring, boring, boring. They probably gave up simply years ago. Well perhaps not – not if they have the secret. And that secret is simple. It says: if the motive of all your sexual relations is love, affection and total commitment to each other you can carry on enjoying the accompanying thrills until they carry you out in a box. And that kind of sexual life spreads itself throughout the marriage through care and closeness.

    Give me something new! Yes, marriages whose first motivation is sexual thrill will risk the relationship. Sooner or later boredom sets in. Perhaps one partner, or both, ceases to have any interest in sex – with an inevitable effect on the relationship. Perhaps one of them seeks, or finds by chance, the new thrill of a new partner. Novelty is erotic – that’s nature again, trying to make new babies anywhere at any cost. Over 40% of today’s marriages fail. How many of them do you think were based on love, affection and total commitment? And how many based on thrills which ran out of steam?

    So that’s the big lie of pornography. But there are other problems too. A recent study of young teenagers discovered that nearly 20% had been shocked or upset by porn images. That is a tragedy because it means that their early knowledge of adult sex is one of disgust; it’s not a good start to what will probably be a large part of their later lives. But there are worse things.

    One of these is the danger of becoming addicted to pornography. Just like drugs, some people (about 10%) get hooked – and they find themselves not only preoccupied by extreme sexual thoughts but endlessly searching for more and more porn to keep the thrills going. And, again like drugs, they never guessed when they started that it would turn out like that.

    Perhaps most shameful of all, some young people are pushed and persuaded into pornography by their friends. Some kind of friends! Look on the bright side – the Devil gets some shut-eye while others do his work for him.

    Your loving Grandparents.

    There are also other reasons why you shouldn't watch pornography. According to Matthew 5:27-28, "You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I say anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eyes has already committed adultery with her in his heart." So you are not being faithful to your future or current husband or wife if you look at pornography. But on an ethical stand point, the business behind pornography is hugely problematic. Most of the people start being porn stars as very young children and teenagers who are taken advantaged off by older people trying to make a quick buck. Not only that, depending on where the porn is coming from, that person you think is twenty something could be in their teens. I know Japan as a legal age of only thirteen, and own that kind of porn is illegal in America. So watching it might even be illegal. Even if the porn has consenting adults in it, there is a high risk of disease and injuries being spread that make supporting this business unethical from a purely humanistic standpoint. So from a Biblical and ethical standpoint, people shouldn't support the sex industry by watching and buying porn in any format. Even if you watch on 'free' sites, they are probably getting paid through Adsense.

      Pornography is a great scourge. Once relegated to the dark, dank corners of society, it is now available on nearly every computing device, mobile phone, and related with a few keystrokes. God only knows how many marriages it has destroyed, how many homes it has broken, how many children it has left fatherless, how many men and women it has debased, how many minds it has corrupted, and how many souls it has led astray on a dark path to hell. We Christians are called to spurn the wickedness of this world and be salt and light on earth. Pornography, in all its insidious forms, has no place among our people.

        There's this one preacher who confessed that he regularly watches porn. He was in the news last year. But when he realized he had a problem he sought professional help. Most people never want to admit that porn has become a problem in their lives which is why they remain captives for years. I think anyone who has watched porn more than once should consider getting some free counseling in church.

          Pornography is basically a way for people to fill their curiosity. It would make relationship problems easier, and it would make couples more vocal. But then again, it also removes "love" out of the act, and I think that's why people do not like it, other than the more obvious reasons. It negates the thing that couples do, and make it more of a commercial thing, and it devalues the morals and intimacy that the act holds on married couples. That's just my two cents though.

            I love the part about love, commitment and affection being able to overcome just lust. And I think these factors are important in any marriage. Like you said, marriages fail because they lack these. Maybe they started off with just sexual attraction and failed to develop these factors. If so, then that might equate to a doom in the relationship. Luckily, through effort, time and persistence, it's not hard to have these factors in your relationship. Just remember to focus on these aspects first before anything else. Yes, sexual attraction should be there, but couple it with these trio and you're bound to be attracted to your partner for a lifetime.

            And maybe that's what pornography is lacking. There's no love or affection there, just pure lust. It gives the viewers an unhealthy view of what making love is all about. You don't just have intimacy based off of attraction because that is shallow and would never work. When you love someone truly, you see beyond their bodies. You love them for who they are even if they gain weight or their bodies have changed. Because you know that person and being intimate with him or her is something that you love to do with them and only them.

              My life was at the brink of being damaged because of pornography. It comes with the spirit of addiction like hard drugs and alcohol or whatever harmful substance could be addicted to. I was introduced to it during my secondary school days, you guys probably know it to be high school. At that period of my life was I introduced to it. And since then, I couldn't just kill the urge. But thank God for a firm determination and God in my life that rescued me from this destruction because, I was almost becoming something really unpleasant as I was always looking lustfully at every female, Imagining how they'll look like if undressed. It was that serious. Thank God I am free today. Sometimes the thought do come but I have learned not to entertain it because, Phillipians 4:8 has taught me to put my mind on something more edifying. Pornography is a danger to our homes and society. I pray that those that are caught in the web will be free someday.

                Originally posted by Smithee View Post
                There's this one preacher who confessed that he regularly watches porn. He was in the news last year. But when he realized he had a problem he sought professional help. Most people never want to admit that porn has become a problem in their lives which is why they remain captives for years. I think anyone who has watched porn more than once should consider getting some free counseling in church.
                It amazing how many people are hooked to porn.we normally have a confession sessions in our youth fellowship and learned that more than 95% have watched ponography at some point.
                It's true that seeing a professional counselor will help.
                Personally I was helped by a mentor to get through it.
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