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Is trying to look attractive for your spouse considered vanity?

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    Is trying to look attractive for your spouse considered vanity?

    Vanity is considered to be a sin. I want to know if trying to look pretty is considered vanity? I mean many women give their best to stay beautiful by dieting and excising so they will look attractive to their spouses. There are also men who who does the same by going to the gym and taking protein powder. I know inner beauty is considered to be better but trying to look good makes us feel good and confident. Also trying to look attractive sometimes enhances marriages.

    #2
    Originally posted by Sparky View Post
    Vanity is considered to be a sin. I want to know if trying to look pretty is considered vanity? I mean many women give their best to stay beautiful by dieting and excising so they will look attractive to their spouses. There are also men who who does the same by going to the gym and taking protein powder. I know inner beauty is considered to be better but trying to look good makes us feel good and confident. Also trying to look attractive sometimes enhances marriages.
    What you listed is not vanity.

    As far as apparel, what is most important is that a man or woman doesn't let his/her outer beauty compete with inner beauty.
    • 1 Peter 3:3–5 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be pthe hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,

    While there's nothing wrong with taking care of our appearances, spending too much time or money on it shows there is a priority problem.
    • 1 Timothy 2:9–10 9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

    Today it is fashionable to cover ourselves with tattoos. Both men and women do so. It is like too much makeup but irremovable. Tattoos, piercings, expensive jewelry, and clothing are the result of a problem and not the problem itself.

    God bless,
    William
    Comment>

      #3
      That's a very different view than I have. But I guess there is no right or wrong when it comes to interpreting some of these things. From what I have experienced, I love to look good. I feel good inside when I look good outside, and I also love how people respond to me when I am well dressed and made up. Say what you will, but as a woman, if you've been out of your house dressed in old clothes and with no make up on, and you had a problem and needed help from a stranger, you know the chances of them stopping to help you are slim compared to if you were well dressed. You all know this to be true.
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        #4
        We're talking about wanting to look attractive for your spouse - - by all means, yes. Why Not? When you're out in the public -- shopping or whatever -- chances are you're going to be cleaned-up -- not looking like a slob. I don't wear make-up except for a bit of mellow lipstick. And lots of times, not even that. As for the make-up, I have two daughters and I tried to assure them that they look just fine Without make-up. Good nutricious food and soap and water works pretty well. Avoid greasy foods.

        And trying to be in good physical health Does help a marriage. Over the years and having kids Does things to us -- we get sloppy -- so every so often is doesn't hurt to take inventory.

        Nothing wrong with wanting to look attractive.
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          #5
          Staying need and clean and as fit as reasonable is good. A far as makeup - your spouse already know what you look like so why you putting it on... The only person who use makeup in scripture is Jezabel and I'm sure nobody wants to identify with her.
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            #6
            For a woman to wear makeup is fine. The passages some cite against this engage in guilt by association.

            Job 42:14 He named the first Jemimah, and the second Keziah, and the third Keren-happuch. (NASB)
            The name of last daughter of Job mentioned in the above passage means "horn of paint."
            H7163 - Qeren Hap-puwk - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NASB)


            1. Karl Keil and Franz Delitzsch: the third was altogether the most beautiful, possessing a beauty heightened by artificial means.
            Job 42 Commentary - Keil and Delitzsch Commentary on the Old Testament
            2. Daniel Whedon: (Septuagint, Amalthaea’s horn,) is literally a horn of paint — boxes of pigment in those days being, as is supposed, sometimes made of horn, or in the shape of a horn. Oriental ladies from very ancient times have painted their eyes, in order to produce an apparent enlargement of the eye, and to promote its brilliancy.
            Job 42 Commentary - Daniel Whedon's Commentary on the Bible

            I do wonder though about people who get plastic surgery - particularly those who do numerous times.
            Face lifts, tummy tucks and breast enlargements.
            Comment>

              #7
              Originally posted by Faber View Post
              For a woman to wear makeup is fine. The passages some cite against this engage in guilt by association.

              Job 42:14 He named the first Jemimah, and the second Keziah, and the third Keren-happuch. (NASB)
              The name of last daughter of Job mentioned in the above passage means "horn of paint."
              H7163 - Qeren Hap-puwk - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NASB)


              1. Karl Keil and Franz Delitzsch: the third was altogether the most beautiful, possessing a beauty heightened by artificial means.
              Job 42 Commentary - Keil and Delitzsch Commentary on the Old Testament
              2. Daniel Whedon: (Septuagint, Amalthaea’s horn,) is literally a horn of paint — boxes of pigment in those days being, as is supposed, sometimes made of horn, or in the shape of a horn. Oriental ladies from very ancient times have painted their eyes, in order to produce an apparent enlargement of the eye, and to promote its brilliancy.
              Job 42 Commentary - Daniel Whedon's Commentary on the Bible

              I do wonder though about people who get plastic surgery - particularly those who do numerous times.
              Face lifts, tummy tucks and breast enlargements.


              Mostly I agree with you, but , from a womanly perspective, and having had 4 children. Now in my 60's a tummy tuck would be a nice improvement as well as a tiny bit of jowel-drop improvement. Women who've lost 20 - 30 pds end up with saggy skin. Some can afford to get those adjustments -- some of us won't. Some of us simply accept the fact that our bodies Do age and we're not 30 any more. <sigh>

              You've got a good point though, sometimes plastic / cosmetic surgeries are an attempt to 'find' the fountain of youth. Sometimes we simply Don't want to look our age.
              Comment>

                #8
                You can put lipstick on a pig but it will still roll around in it's own poo poo. A good reason not to put much thought into what people think about what you look like, they think that pig is good just because it has lipstick on.

                All the junk on TV and in magazines makes people think women are supposed to look flawless, no dark circles round their eyes, no freckles, it's all fake, it's a lie! All those things are normal! The media brainwashes people so much nonsense, they have the multitudes chasing after a life that's almost impossible to achieve and even when they do they find its worthless, life comes to an end and all that hard work was for nothing, a life wasted.

                There's nothing wrong with looking like you care, but don't make it priority. And don't put too much thought into what strangers think about how you look, because if that's how they base a persons value then what they think isn't worth a squid.

                Please don't think I mean to be rude, I just care about my family in Christ and want them to be confident, even if they're wearing rags and have no teeth, and yes, I know what it's like to be in that boat.
                Comment>

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Innerfire89 View Post
                  You can put lipstick on a pig but it will still roll around in it's own poo poo. A good reason not to put much thought into what people think about what you look like, they think that pig is good just because it has lipstick on.

                  All the junk on TV and in magazines makes people think women are supposed to look flawless, no dark circles round their eyes, no freckles, it's all fake, it's a lie! All those things are normal! The media brainwashes people so much nonsense, they have the multitudes chasing after a life that's almost impossible to achieve and even when they do they find its worthless, life comes to an end and all that hard work was for nothing, a life wasted.

                  There's nothing wrong with looking like you care, but don't make it priority. And don't put too much thought into what strangers think about how you look, because if that's how they base a persons value then what they think isn't worth a squid.

                  Please don't think I mean to be rude, I just care about my family in Christ and want them to be confident, even if they're wearing rags and have no teeth, and yes, I know what it's like to be in that boat.
                  Maybe we Should put more thought into how strangers view us. Under normal circumstances first impressions Are important.

                  If I've been in a car wreck or some natural disaster --I'm probably not going to look my best. My disposition will likely be noticed first.
                  Comment>

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Sue D. View Post

                    Maybe we Should put more thought into how strangers view us. Under normal circumstances first impressions Are important.

                    If I've been in a car wreck or some natural disaster --I'm probably not going to look my best. My disposition will likely be noticed first.
                    When I talk to people those things haven't really made too much of a differance, now if I was walking around in my PJ's I wouldn't expect people to respect me much.
                    Now I'm not trying to be mean, but if I'm dirt poor and ugly should I be judged by that? No way. That would be unrighteous judgement. Let's think about how Jesus looked, he didn't have fancy clothes like the kings, yet people came out to the desert to hear him teach.

                    What is the first impression we want to give? For me, I would like people to see me as humble and to see that I'm not worried if people find me ugly or if people look down on me because the jeans I wear have holes in the knees or an old paint stain, that's all I have to wear and I'm fine with that. If someone wants nothing to do with me then they can go on their way while I find people who don't waste my time.


                    The point I'm trying to get across is it's OK to ugly, it's OK to be old, and it's OK to be lower class, or all of the above. I walk with Christ who shows me that what I'm missing out on comes and go so fast and has so little significance that it's not worth the space in my head to worry.

                    I'm not trying to judge or make anyone feel guilty, but let's not think like ​​​​​they think because we live for God's future, not rat race humanism.
                    Comment>

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Innerfire89 View Post

                      When I talk to people those things haven't really made too much of a differance, now if I was walking around in my PJ's I wouldn't expect people to respect me much.
                      Now I'm not trying to be mean, but if I'm dirt poor and ugly should I be judged by that? No way. That would be unrighteous judgement. Let's think about how Jesus looked, he didn't have fancy clothes like the kings, yet people came out to the desert to hear him teach.

                      What is the first impression we want to give? For me, I would like people to see me as humble and to see that I'm not worried if people find me ugly or if people look down on me because the jeans I wear have holes in the knees or an old paint stain, that's all I have to wear and I'm fine with that. If someone wants nothing to do with me then they can go on their way while I find people who don't waste my time.


                      The point I'm trying to get across is it's OK to ugly, it's OK to be old, and it's OK to be lower class, or all of the above. I walk with Christ who shows me that what I'm missing out on comes and go so fast and has so little significance that it's not worth the space in my head to worry.

                      I'm not trying to judge or make anyone feel guilty, but let's not think like ​​​​​they think because we live for God's future, not rat race humanism.


                      The original comment was about looking nice for our spouse -- cosmetics and such. Personally I don't use make-up except a little lip-stick and lip gloss. My mother used to use some powder and lipstick. I tried powder and it made my face feel dirty. I raised my two daughters with the concept that they look just fine the way they are. Some of their friends Did use make-up and they wanted to be like them, that's why I was serious about appreciating their natural looks -- they were just fine Without expensive make-up.

                      People who are dirt poor and ugly can still be as clean as possible -- and really -- a person can go to Good Will or Salvation Army or Thrift stores and get perfectly good clothes without holes in them.

                      Jesus mingled with the common folk -- He looked just like them. Besides -- the garb of those days was pretty much the same for everyone.

                      My husband grew up in a dirt poor environment -- one of nine kids raised by his mother -- would not take well-fare -- worked split shift. His mom made sure they had clean clothes and no holes in them. They grew up in a renovated one-room school house with outdoor plumbing for years. We're in our late 60's now.
                      Comment>

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Sue D. View Post



                        The original comment was about looking nice for our spouse -- cosmetics and such. Personally I don't use make-up except a little lip-stick and lip gloss. My mother used to use some powder and lipstick. I tried powder and it made my face feel dirty. I raised my two daughters with the concept that they look just fine the way they are. Some of their friends Did use make-up and they wanted to be like them, that's why I was serious about appreciating their natural looks -- they were just fine Without expensive make-up.

                        People who are dirt poor and ugly can still be as clean as possible -- and really -- a person can go to Good Will or Salvation Army or Thrift stores and get perfectly good clothes without holes in them.

                        Jesus mingled with the common folk -- He looked just like them. Besides -- the garb of those days was pretty much the same for everyone.

                        My husband grew up in a dirt poor environment -- one of nine kids raised by his mother -- would not take well-fare -- worked split shift. His mom made sure they had clean clothes and no holes in them. They grew up in a renovated one-room school house with outdoor plumbing for years. We're in our late 60's now.
                        The topic shifted from looking for a spouse to looking good and everyone thinks about us.

                        ​​​​
                        There's circumstances where getting clothes from Good Will or The Salvation is hard to do, especially in rural areas.

                        For a lot of people there's no split shift to work. For some they ethier take well fair or food stamps or beg their neibors for food.
                        In states like Mississippi we have who live in shacks out in the wood or way out on a dirt road miles away from anything, without a car they can't really go anywhere to look for a job even if there were jobs to look for.

                        Comment>

                          #13

                          There are Always circumstances to deal with. We're simply as neat and clean and hard-working as possible.
                          Comment>

                            #14
                            I can only speak for our marriage. From the first time I first saw my future bride, she was a beautiful blue eyed blond, and a smaller than most women, but slightly a tad larger that the smaller women in other words PERFECT! My wife was a cosmetologists, and she was not a natural blond. Only once in our marriage about six years after we were married she want back to her natural hair color. I just preferred her as a blond. We just celebrated our 48th year of marriage and she is still a blond that is right for her age 67. We had four children and yes we struggled. Never did we go without food,or the basics of life. I did work two jobs, often I had to be a "jack of all trades". My wife worked baby sitting in our home too. Being in ministry people expect their pastor and his wife and family to look presentable, especially when in leadership in not only the church but the community as well. My wife has worn lipstick and eye make up and colored her hair in conservative taste.

                            This is one area that we should make a blanket statement nor find fault with if a Christian woman makes the choice not to or to use makeup in good taste. Tammy Faye, and Jan Crouch were examples of women who who did not own a mirror and their husbands were blind.


                            juatme
                            Comment>

                              #15
                              Originally posted by justme View Post
                              I can only speak for our marriage. From the first time I first saw my future bride, she was a beautiful blue eyed blond, and a smaller than most women, but slightly a tad larger that the smaller women in other words PERFECT! My wife was a cosmetologists, and she was not a natural blond. Only once in our marriage about six years after we were married she want back to her natural hair color. I just preferred her as a blond. We just celebrated our 48th year of marriage and she is still a blond that is right for her age 67. We had four children and yes we struggled. Never did we go without food,or the basics of life. I did work two jobs, often I had to be a "jack of all trades". My wife worked baby sitting in our home too. Being in ministry people expect their pastor and his wife and family to look presentable, especially when in leadership in not only the church but the community as well. My wife has worn lipstick and eye make up and colored her hair in conservative taste.

                              This is one area that we should make a blanket statement nor find fault with if a Christian woman makes the choice not to or to use makeup in good taste. Tammy Faye, and Jan Crouch were examples of women who who did not own a mirror and their husbands were blind.


                              juatme
                              Good post -- not familiar with Jan Crouch -- but Tammy Faye -- LOL -- exactly right.
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