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IS there any order about the type of person to marry with?

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  • IS there any order about the type of person to marry with?

    I was thinking if there is any order about the type of person to marry. Some people seek money while other look for sincerity and love. What should be the preference for choosing the life partner?

  • #2
    The first (and perhaps the only) thing to consider is whether God wants you to marry that person. You also need to keep in mind the fact that God might not want you to marry at all.

    Clyde Herrin's Blog
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    • #3
      Some advice from Scripture:

      Matthew 19:3-12 [NLT]
      3 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
      4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’[fn] 5 And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’[fn] 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
      7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?”[fn] they asked.
      8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. 9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.[fn]”
      10 Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!”
      11 “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. 12 Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry[fn] for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”


      OBSERVATIONS:
      v.4: A man and a woman ... by God's definition (that one was easy, but needs to be said).
      v.5,6: This is someone you WILL be joined with forever ... not a choice entered into lightly.
      v.10-12 Marriage is not for everyone.


      Genesis 24 [NLT]
      1 Abraham was now a very old man, and the LORD had blessed him in every way. 2 One day Abraham said to his oldest servant, the man in charge of his household, “Take an oath by putting your hand under my thigh. 3 Swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and earth, that you will not allow my son to marry one of these local Canaanite women. 4 Go instead to my homeland, to my relatives, and find a wife there for my son Isaac.”
      5 The servant asked, “But what if I can’t find a young woman who is willing to travel so far from home? Should I then take Isaac there to live among your relatives in the land you came from?”
      6 “No!” Abraham responded. “Be careful never to take my son there. 7 For the LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and my native land, solemnly promised to give this land to my descendants.[fn] He will send his angel ahead of you, and he will see to it that you find a wife there for my son. 8 If she is unwilling to come back with you, then you are free from this oath of mine. But under no circumstances are you to take my son there.”
      9 So the servant took an oath by putting his hand under the thigh of his master, Abraham. He swore to follow Abraham’s instructions. 10 Then he loaded ten of Abraham’s camels with all kinds of expensive gifts from his master, and he traveled to distant Aram-naharaim. There he went to the town where Abraham’s brother Nahor had settled. 11 He made the camels kneel beside a well just outside the town. It was evening, and the women were coming out to draw water.
      12 “O LORD, God of my master, Abraham,” he prayed. “Please give me success today, and show unfailing love to my master, Abraham. 13 See, I am standing here beside this spring, and the young women of the town are coming out to draw water. 14 This is my request. I will ask one of them, ‘Please give me a drink from your jug.’ If she says, ‘Yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!’—let her be the one you have selected as Isaac’s wife. This is how I will know that you have shown unfailing love to my master.”
      15 Before he had finished praying, he saw a young woman named Rebekah coming out with her water jug on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel, who was the son of Abraham’s brother Nahor and his wife, Milcah. 16 Rebekah was very beautiful and old enough to be married, but she was still a virgin. She went down to the spring, filled her jug, and came up again. 17 Running over to her, the servant said, “Please give me a little drink of water from your jug.”
      18 “Yes, my lord,” she answered, “have a drink.” And she quickly lowered her jug from her shoulder and gave him a drink. 19 When she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels, too, until they have had enough to drink.” 20 So she quickly emptied her jug into the watering trough and ran back to the well to draw water for all his camels.
      21 The servant watched her in silence, wondering whether or not the LORD had given him success in his mission. 22 Then at last, when the camels had finished drinking, he took out a gold ring for her nose and two large gold bracelets[fn] for her wrists.
      23 “Whose daughter are you?” he asked. “And please tell me, would your father have any room to put us up for the night?”
      24 “I am the daughter of Bethuel,” she replied. “My grandparents are Nahor and Milcah. 25 Yes, we have plenty of straw and feed for the camels, and we have room for guests.”
      26 The man bowed low and worshiped the LORD. 27 “Praise the LORD, the God of my master, Abraham,” he said. “The LORD has shown unfailing love and faithfulness to my master, for he has led me straight to my master’s relatives.”
      28 The young woman ran home to tell her family everything that had happened. 29 Now Rebekah had a brother named Laban, who ran out to meet the man at the spring. 30 He had seen the nose-ring and the bracelets on his sister’s wrists, and had heard Rebekah tell what the man had said. So he rushed out to the spring, where the man was still standing beside his camels. 31 Laban said to him, “Come and stay with us, you who are blessed by the LORD! Why are you standing here outside the town when I have a room all ready for you and a place prepared for the camels?”
      32 So the man went home with Laban, and Laban unloaded the camels, gave him straw for their bedding, fed them, and provided water for the man and the camel drivers to wash their feet. 33 Then food was served. But Abraham’s servant said, “I don’t want to eat until I have told you why I have come.”
      “All right,” Laban said, “tell us.”
      34 “I am Abraham’s servant,” he explained. 35 “And the LORD has greatly blessed my master; he has become a wealthy man. The LORD has given him flocks of sheep and goats, herds of cattle, a fortune in silver and gold, and many male and female servants and camels and donkeys.
      36 “When Sarah, my master’s wife, was very old, she gave birth to my master’s son, and my master has given him everything he owns. 37 And my master made me take an oath. He said, ‘Do not allow my son to marry one of these local Canaanite women. 38 Go instead to my father’s house, to my relatives, and find a wife there for my son.’
      39 “But I said to my master, ‘What if I can’t find a young woman who is willing to go back with me?’ 40 He responded, ‘The LORD, in whose presence I have lived, will send his angel with you and will make your mission successful. Yes, you must find a wife for my son from among my relatives, from my father’s family. 41 Then you will have fulfilled your obligation. But if you go to my relatives and they refuse to let her go with you, you will be free from my oath.’
      42 “So today when I came to the spring, I prayed this prayer: ‘O LORD, God of my master, Abraham, please give me success on this mission. 43 See, I am standing here beside this spring. This is my request. When a young woman comes to draw water, I will say to her, “Please give me a little drink of water from your jug.” 44 If she says, “Yes, have a drink, and I will draw water for your camels, too,” let her be the one you have selected to be the wife of my master’s son.’
      45 “Before I had finished praying in my heart, I saw Rebekah coming out with her water jug on her shoulder. She went down to the spring and drew water. So I said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’ 46 She quickly lowered her jug from her shoulder and said, ‘Yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!’ So I drank, and then she watered the camels.
      47 “Then I asked, ‘Whose daughter are you?’ She replied, ‘I am the daughter of Bethuel, and my grandparents are Nahor and Milcah.’ So I put the ring on her nose, and the bracelets on her wrists.
      48 “Then I bowed low and worshiped the LORD. I praised the LORD, the God of my master, Abraham, because he had led me straight to my master’s niece to be his son’s wife. 49 So tell me—will you or won’t you show unfailing love and faithfulness to my master? Please tell me yes or no, and then I’ll know what to do next.”
      50 Then Laban and Bethuel replied, “The LORD has obviously brought you here, so there is nothing we can say. 51 Here is Rebekah; take her and go. Yes, let her be the wife of your master’s son, as the LORD has directed.”
      52 When Abraham’s servant heard their answer, he bowed down to the ground and worshiped the LORD. 53 Then he brought out silver and gold jewelry and clothing and presented them to Rebekah. He also gave expensive presents to her brother and mother. 54 Then they ate their meal, and the servant and the men with him stayed there overnight.
      But early the next morning, Abraham’s servant said, “Send me back to my master.”
      55 “But we want Rebekah to stay with us at least ten days,” her brother and mother said. “Then she can go.”
      56 But he said, “Don’t delay me. The LORD has made my mission successful; now send me back so I can return to my master.”
      57 “Well,” they said, “we’ll call Rebekah and ask her what she thinks.” 58 So they called Rebekah. “Are you willing to go with this man?” they asked her.
      And she replied, “Yes, I will go.”
      59 So they said good-bye to Rebekah and sent her away with Abraham’s servant and his men. The woman who had been Rebekah’s childhood nurse went along with her. 60 They gave her this blessing as she parted:
      “Our sister, may you become
      the mother of many millions!
      May your descendants be strong
      and conquer the cities of their enemies.”
      61 Then Rebekah and her servant girls mounted the camels and followed the man. So Abraham’s servant took Rebekah and went on his way.
      62 Meanwhile, Isaac, whose home was in the Negev, had returned from Beer-lahai-roi. 63 One evening as he was walking and meditating in the fields, he looked up and saw the camels coming. 64 When Rebekah looked up and saw Isaac, she quickly dismounted from her camel. 65 “Who is that man walking through the fields to meet us?” she asked the servant.
      And he replied, “It is my master.” So Rebekah covered her face with her veil. 66 Then the servant told Isaac everything he had done.
      67 And Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah’s tent, and she became his wife. He loved her deeply, and she was a special comfort to him after the death of his mother
      .

      OBSERVATIONS:
      v.3: You need a Godly wife, not a worldly wife. 2 Cor 6:14-16 "Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God."
      v.7: Trust in God to lead the way.
      v.12-14: Pray. Ask God to confirm His blessing on His choice. You can only see the outside, clouded by a few ounces of hormones. God sees the heart and the future. [I let Him choose my spouse ... 15 years today and no regrets.]
      v.18: In Rebekah, he was looking for neither wealth nor 'love' nor beauty. He was looking for a gentle spirit and a kind heart ... remember, this is for LIFE. Wealth can come and go, emotions change, physical beauty fades. A heart WORTH living and dying for can last forever.
      v.26-27: When he delivers, remember to give thanks to God.
      v.49: The decision to love is not based on a moment of emotional 'spark'. They had never even met. It is a decision. Decide first if you are ready and willing to be a husband. If so, then resolve that you will honor and respect and care for and protect your wife, even before God introduces her to you. Make "love" more than a flash in the pan emotion that comes and goes. Make love the sort of willingness to give all that Christ demonstrated. Eph 5:25 "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her"
      v.16,67: In seeking a wife with a heart after God, the man found beauty, faithfulness, deep love and special comfort. The worldly Canaanite women could have provided a 'rich' wife or a 'beautiful' wife ... but only God could provide "deep love" and "special comfort" throughout a lifetime of marriage.


      I hope that helps.
      Comment>

      • #4
        The type / kind of person to marry.

        Someone with the same religious background. A believer should date / marry another believer.

        A person should ask for God's leading in the matter of dating / marriage. Marriage is meant to be to the same person for a life-time. Decide Before getting married -- while engaged -- that once the marriage vows have been shared, there's No turning back. Over the years, there will probably be ample opportunity to question - What was I thinking. Commitment to marriage vows is necessary. Marriage is Work as much as it's enjoyable.

        Friendship is Very important. Be able to talk about anything, everything. Appreciate that person for who they Are --right Now.

        There needs to be a sense of connection / connectedness before getting married.

        A person can be a good friend and never get married. Be able to maintain a good long friendship Before getting married.
        Comment>

        • #5
          I agree with Sue D. that it is good to marry with the same religious background. Their beliefs should be the same. Love is not all about dating. It is better to marry the person whom you love rather than cheating each other. It is necessary to keep a communication with your spouse to have a better understanding.
          Comment>

          • #6
            Originally posted by demitri View Post
            I was thinking if there is any order about the type of person to marry. Some people seek money while other look for sincerity and love. What should be the preference for choosing the life partner?
            If you are a genuine regenerated Christian within the Body of Christ, then your first priority is to seek a spouse who is also "in the Lord" (within the Body of Christ). This is the command (or "order") given to widows, and by extension it would apply to all Christians (1 Corinthians 7:39):

            The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

            The reason for this should be obvious but is often ignored or neglected. Those who are in Christ are in the Kingdom of God or the Kingdom of Light. Those who are not in Christ are in the Kingdom of Darkness. Therefore there will be nothing but conflict as Light battles Darkness, and Darkness battle Light.
            Comment>

            • #7
              The fist thing you should see in a person is that whether he or she is good and whether they will be sincere and love you truly for the rest of your life. I agree with our friends to marry from the same religious backgrounds as it will avoid problems from the relatives. Otherwise, they should be trustworthy and should respect your feelings and dreams and should be able to accept for who you are. They should love you and not your materialistic possessions, wealth, and status.
              Comment>

              • #8
                How many kids do you both want? - What kind of school do they go to?
                If a relative gets sick/old can they move in?
                Financial expectations?
                Where will you live? If work requires is moving to another state (country) okay?
                Do you want any pets?
                Discuss pet peeves.
                Are any and all ex's completely out of the picture?
                Smoking?
                Drinking?
                Vacations?
                Food preferences?

                How do you feel about waking up every day and seeing and kissing this person's face for the rest of your life?

                Last edited by Faber; 07-02-2017, 03:20 AM.
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