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Forgiven but not forgotten

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  • Forgiven but not forgotten

    I have heard people say in some matters they can forgive but will never forget. This gets me confused as a Christian can we go with this ideology, forgive but don't forget. I am baffled is that complete forgiveness.

  • #2
    Originally posted by tony View Post
    I have heard people say in some matters they can forgive but will never forget. This gets me confused as a Christian can we go with this ideology, forgive but don't forget. I am baffled is that complete forgiveness.
    If someone was a pedophile and molested your child, and both your child and you forgave them, would you expose your child to them again in the future?

    Just curious.

    God bless,
    William
    Comment>

    • #3
      Forgiving means you don't hold their actions against them and bear no grudges. Forgetting means discounting their past actions completely and that's not always wise or loving.

      Originally posted by tony View Post
      I have heard people say in some matters they can forgive but will never forget. This gets me confused as a Christian can we go with this ideology, forgive but don't forget. I am baffled is that complete forgiveness.
      Sometimes not forgetting is to benefit the person who commited the trespass, not the person who is forgiving them. You can forgive someone but still love them enough not to expose them to temptation. e.g. If you forgave someone for being a violent alcoholic because they had repented and were in recovery, forgiving is inviting them to the party and treating them normally. Forgetting would mean you offer them a drink if you would normally offer one. Putting temptation in their path like that isn't a loving thing to do.
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      • #4
        I struggle with this issue in my spiritual journey and here's the conclusion I've come to: if a snake keeps biting you, it is no longer the snake's fault. People will be who they are- which, unfortunately, is not always positive. It is sometimes necessary to move forward sans bitterness towards that person without allowing them back into your life.
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        • #5
          Excellent scenario. I think sometimes it's necessary to pray for someone's soul and forgive them from a distance. There are people in my life that while I don't wish harm on them I have to love them from a distance. Not because I haven't fully forgiven, but because "when someone shows you who they are, believe them" -Maya Angelou.

          Originally posted by William View Post

          If someone was a pedophile and molested your child, and both your child and you forgave them, would you expose your child to them again in the future?

          Just curious.

          God bless,
          William
          Comment>

          • #6
            Originally posted by William View Post
            If someone was a pedophile and molested your child, and both your child and you forgave them, would you expose your child to them again in the future?
            Just curious.
            God bless,
            William
            This is a very hard one, sure it wouldn't be easy to forget an experience like this even if we chose to forgive. One thing that such a person has been forgiven may not mean he shouldn't be punished by the authorities.
            Comment>

            • #7
              Originally posted by tony View Post
              This is a very hard one, sure it wouldn't be easy to forget an experience like this even if we chose to forgive. One thing that such a person has been forgiven may not mean he shouldn't be punished by the authorities.
              Someone that expects to not bear the consequences because they are forgiven.... what message does that convey? "I'm only sorry if I do not have to face the consequences"?

              Justice is sometimes inescapable. We have no right to turn the cheek to injustice when it comes to the safety of our fellow man. One can forgive another but appeal to the Magistrates to enforce Justice. It is not the role of Magistrates to "forgive" another of a crime but to punish evil and search it out which prevents the victimization of others.

              When Jesus stood before the religious leaders and was struck, did He not turn to those in charge and appeal to them of what crime He committed in the face of injustice?

              John 18:22-23
              • When he had said these things, one of the officers standing by struck Jesus with his hand, saying, “Is that how you answer the high priest?” Jesus answered him, “If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the wrong; but if what I said is right, why do you strike me?”

              I just caution others, understand that your message of forgiveness could be twisted in such a way that promotes victimization. We are to have a forgiving spirit, but we can and should appeal to Justice in the face of evil. It is not only about us, but it is about our fellow man. To forgive someone of rape, in my previous example, may lead to others being sexually abused. We can forgive someone, but it doesn't mean that it goes without consequence. Further example, the Father did not just forgive us, but Jesus bore our Consequences as the Propitiation for our Sins.That is, they did not go unpunished.

              God bless,
              William
              Comment>

              • #8
                I agree with everyone. You can forgive a person but should not forget what he/she had done. There is a saying "Once bitten, twice shy." Forgive him/her but be aware that he/she can do the same thing again. Try to avoid getting into a situation which will have the same result as before. But don't break the relation that you share with him/her. Be good to him/her.
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                • #9
                  Excellent points! Also, I think it is the human part of us that can forgive someone but not completely forgive that person's actions, which is understandable and inevitable.

                  Originally posted by William View Post

                  Someone that expects to not bear the consequences because they are forgiven.... what message does that convey? "I'm only sorry if I do not have to face the consequences"?

                  Justice is sometimes inescapable. We have no right to turn the cheek to injustice when it comes to the safety of our fellow man. One can forgive another but appeal to the Magistrates to enforce Justice. It is not the role of Magistrates to "forgive" another of a crime but to punish evil and search it out which prevents the victimization of others.

                  When Jesus stood before the religious leaders and was struck, did He not turn to those in charge and appeal to them of what crime He committed in the face of injustice?

                  John 18:22-23
                  • When he had said these things, one of the officers standing by struck Jesus with his hand, saying, “Is that how you answer the high priest?” Jesus answered him, “If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the wrong; but if what I said is right, why do you strike me?”

                  I just caution others, understand that your message of forgiveness could be twisted in such a way that promotes victimization. We are to have a forgiving spirit, but we can and should appeal to Justice in the face of evil. It is not only about us, but it is about our fellow man. To forgive someone of rape, in my previous example, may lead to others being sexually abused. We can forgive someone, but it doesn't mean that it goes without consequence. Further example, the Father did not just forgive us, but Jesus bore our Consequences as the Propitiation for our Sins.That is, they did not go unpunished.

                  God bless,
                  William
                  Comment>

                  • #10
                    If they genuinely regret and ask for forgiveness I would forgive them and forget what they have done. I don't hurt them back because they will feel the pain what I have endured and I just tell them not to repeat this in future and I would never talk about that incident to them in anyways to them in future. By this way we can have a mutual understanding and healthy relationship. :)
                    Comment>
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