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Local Mom Claims Vaccines Caused Her Son’s Calvinism

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  • Local Mom Claims Vaccines Caused Her Son’s Calvinism

    Local Mom Claims Vaccines Caused Her Son's Calvinism

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    BOZEMAN, MT—Local mother Carrie Darling has been living with her 11-year-old son Ashton’s Calvinism for years now, and ever since his diagnosis she has never veered from her firm belief that his adoption of the theological framework was directly caused by the vaccines he received as a small child.

    “He wasn’t like this until he got those vaccines—after that, things started changing, and he quickly developed a deep conviction of God’s sovereignty over the process of salvation,” Darling told reporters Wednesday.

    “Out of nowhere he started disappearing into his room for hours at a time, poring over old books by dead white guys that he would secretly order on Amazon. It began harmlessly enough, with some Edwards, a little Bunyan, some sporadic bouts of Spurgeon—but we really grew worried when he started debating other first-graders on the doctrine of the two divine wills.”

    A trip to a local Wesleyan pastor who moonlights as a holistic doctor confirmed the Darling’s worst fears: little Ashton was indeed Calvinistic, complete with a desire to give God all the glory for His saving grace.

    “Think twice before you get your child vaccinated, especially if you come from an Arminian tradition,” the emotional mother said.
    Simul Justus et Peccator ~Martin Luther

    "We are justified by faith alone, but the faith that justifies is never alone" ~John Calvin

    "The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us." ~C. S. Lewis

    "The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances" ~Elisabeth Elliot

    "The law is for the self-righteous to humble their pride; the Gospel is for the lost to remove their despair. ~C. H. Spurgeon

  • #2
    Yes, all of you Arminian Mom's out there -- beware of those side-affects of vaccines. Maybe 'theological' research will someday discover a 'cure' for Calvinism. :cool: ;) :)
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    • #3
      Well I am not really too sure of what to make of these kinds of allegations. I think that I am at the point where I can just move past them, but I still think that people just do things for attention some times, and for the life of me I just cannot understand it.
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      • #4
        Well, let's face the facts.. Search YouTube videos with these keywords; ''Modern Vaccinations to reduce human population?'' There're long term effects that come later in life which reduces the human life-span due to random vaccination as seen in these recent days.. It's not allegation(s) that Sue D. made, it's a fact.
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        • #5
          Originally posted by David View Post
          Well, let's face the facts.. Search YouTube videos with these keywords; ''Modern Vaccinations to reduce human population?'' There're long term effects that come later in life which reduces the human life-span due to random vaccination as seen in these recent days.. It's not allegation(s) that Sue D. made, it's a fact.


          Is it possible that you're taking the article a bit too seriously?

          I was interpreting it as being a 'spoof' on the Calvinism vs Arminion debate. And decided to respond back in like fashion. Calvin and John Arminion were simply two theologians with some opposing views. It drew people like magnets. Salvation / or the lack thereof / Does have eternal consequences -- heaven or hell.

          And, yes, there have been speculations about the short / long term negative affects of having babies vaccinated. It has been linked to autism. It's possibly better to wait until babies are past the baby stage.
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          • #6
            Originally posted by Sue D. View Post



            Is it possible that you're taking the article a bit too seriously?

            I was interpreting it as being a 'spoof' on the Calvinism vs Arminion debate. And decided to respond back in like fashion. Calvin and John Arminion were simply two theologians with some opposing views. It drew people like magnets. Salvation / or the lack thereof / Does have eternal consequences -- heaven or hell.

            And, yes, there have been speculations about the short / long term negative affects of having babies vaccinated. It has been linked to autism. It's possibly better to wait until babies are past the baby stage.
            Oh well, now you've made it literally clear.. Actually I wasn't taking it too seriously, it just happened to be related to a subject we were talking of at my workplace just two days before you posted this. Glad to know Sue D. thanks..
            Comment>

            • #7
              Originally posted by David View Post

              Oh well, now you've made it literally clear.. Actually I wasn't taking it too seriously, it just happened to be related to a subject we were talking of at my workplace just two days before you posted this. Glad to know Sue D. thanks..
              Glad to have helped?!?!

              Comment>
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